Surprise
by southparkgirl101
Summary: Kenny has the life most people would laugh at, but he's simply to caught up in the moment to care. It's only until he opens his door to find a baby- his baby, that he starts to care. His life begins to change, as he begins to see how much he actually cares for his daughter. Even when Kenny's crowned a dad, no matter what, he's still Kenny. May change rating if needed.
1. Chapter 1

**I've had this story in mind for a while now, and thought about trying to post it. The thing is, I seriously have no idea if this is going to go anywhere, and/or if I'll even finish it. It takes place in Kenny's POV, which is really...uhm...perverted. Just in case, I'm telling you some of the chapters should be M for drugs, alchohol, and sex. But it's T so suck it up. And this story takes place when the boys are like 22ish, so thier not like little 4th graders drinking beer and shit. I'll only continue this story if I get reveiws, so please reveiw the story! Thanks, ~M **

* * *

"Cheers!" Glasses clinked all around the bar. I sent my own up into the air and slammed it against Craig's mug, sending beer suds down my arm. We took a swig on cue. I waited for him to set down his beer, but he just kept chugging. He only stopped momentarily to burp. "Whatdaya say? How about a little contest, hmm?" I quickly pulled the bottle up to my lips.

"How many left?" I looked at the bar table, already overflowing with empty bottles of scotch and whiskey. A waitress, an extreamly hot one at that, dropped a new pack of beer in front of us. "Why dont you come over later tonight for a little thank you, baby?" She flicked away some cinnamon curls, and winked before returning to her station. "Damn, look at that rack." Craig puched me in the arm before handing me another beer.

"You mean, damn, look at all this free beer!" He said, popping off his cap. A large crowd was forming around our table, mostly guys, but some chicks. "On three pretty boy." He smirked.

"Why thank you, Craig. You're pretty decent yourself." He kicked my groin under the table as hard as he could, causing me to shreik.

"Three!" He brought the bottle up to his lips and before I could even touch mine, he was done. "Cryings' not gonna make you win-" I slammed my empty bottle down before he could finish his sentance. "Fucking shit..." I smiled and pulled out another beer, as did he. We both threw our bottles at the same time, and retreived beer number three.

"Chug, chug, chug!" Fists flying in the air, and money being played, I felt determined to win. I swallowed more than I meant to, and with a shaking hand reached for my forth. The waitress came over and stood behind me until I finished, and she handed me another. Craig hadnt even finished his third.

"Twenty on the cute one!" She yelled, causing a stir. We looked at each other through bottles, confused on who exactly was the cute one. Everybody threw money in the bread basket at our table, and I watched as it slowly filled to the top. "Make it fifty!" Craig glared at her, and picked up a bottle. I set down mine, now empty, and waited. He swayed with every sip, and halfway through his forth beer, fell from his chair and onto the floor. "And we have a winner!" She grabbed my arms and pulled me from my chair, holding me up so I wouldnt collapse. I let my head roll, and rest on her rack. Sweet. "What's your name, cutie?" I looked up at her, smiling.

"Show me those tits of yours and I'll tell you." An evil grin spread across my face, and I was surprised to see a similar one appear on hers.

"Tell you what- come to my place, and I'll pay for all of your drinks." She whispered, biting on my ear. I gasped. "So what's the lucky winner's name?" Licking her lips seductivly, I sighed. I just wanted to fuck that bitch already, but she wouldnt take me anywhere before getting me to talk.

"Kenny." I pulled her closer, and kissed her cheek. "And what's your name?"

"Victoria, and darling I must know, when can we leave?" I pecked her on the lips, and reached to brush away a strand of hair.

"Now." I took her hand and started towards the door when she stopped. "Wha-"

"Hon, what are you going to do about your friend there?" Victoria pointed to the unconcious Craig, drool seeping from his mouth. "Dont you think we should take him home?" Without thinking, not that I was already, I picked up Craig's limp body and slumped him over my shoulder. Damn chicks always have to ruin the party. We walked to her car, and slid Craig in the back seats were he looked oh to comfortable. I pulled open my door, and hit my head on the low ceiling. "Sorry hon," I saw a dirty look in her eyes. "I'll make you feel better." I heard a zipper, and before I knew it I was pantless. She pushed the seat back, and slid my boxers down to my knees. Her cold lips pressed against my thigh, and slowly travled up.

"God fucking dammit!" I pulled back her hair, and weaved my fingers between its curls. "Your amazing." She continued, and sped up her pace. "Shit! Ah-" Victoria pulled up and wiped the sides of her mouth. "W...why'd you s-stop?" She motioned towards the back seat.

"Do you know where he lives?" I blinked, and shook my head. "Can you...uhm...even remember where you live, or are you too drunk?" I blinked again becoming aware of the black spots covering my vision. "Hello?" I shook my head, and passed out cold.

* * *

I shot up panting, and looked around the room. It looked familiar, but the lights were out. I pulled my legs from under the extremly fluffy comforter and slid out of bed. As soon as I stood up, there was a pain that shot through my head and caused me to vomit. I sat on my knees on the cold wooden floor, as last night spilled out in front of me. The black spots were returning, so I quickly closed my eyes. Through my lids, I could see a sliver of light. The bedroom door creaked open, and filled the room with a bright light. The sudden flash made me throw up again. I felt a pair of hands of my shoulders, as another grabbed my feet. "One, two, three-" My body was lifted effortlessly from the dirty floor, and carried for god knows how long. "Kenny? Are you awake?" I held completly still, afraid of the horrid pain returning. "Can you talk?" Silence. I heard a dark voice whisper something, and then cough. "I can drive, but do you know where he lives?"

"Yeah, not to far from here, in the apartments east of town." I opened my eyes to see Craig holding open the car door for Victoria, but the sun made my eyes burn so I quickly closed them tight. She kissed my forehead, before shoving me into the back. My face slammed against the hot seat. I took a whif of the leather, and realized, very noticably, that Craig was the one in my place last night. "Shit, I dont mean to bug you but do you have, like, ten aspirin?" She closed the door by my feet, and ran back into her house. The passenger door opened, and in stepped Craig. Smoke filled the car as he lit a ciggarette, the fumes overwhelming delicious. The driver's door swung open, and Victoria threw a small bottle to him. "Fuck yeah." I watched threw squinted eyes as he gulped down at least six pills. The car roared to life, and we moved out of the driveway. "Oh hey, thanks for letting us crash at your place last night."

"No problem. I hope he's okay though, he didnt move all night." Craig groaned.

"You shouldnt worry about him. This is routine for him, I'm just surprised he passed out before sex."

Damn, I passed out before sex. Well, tonight's a new night, and there are way too many bars in this town. My drinking habits wernt the best, or actually near healthy. But as much as it threatened my health, I figured hell with it, if im dead tonight I'll wake up tommorow feeling more alive than ever. If anyone was to blame for my habits, it would be that pussy Stan. He was the one who gave me my first real bottle of alchohol, and the one who had made me crave more. I had barley made it through the college minimum of four years with his constant complaining about life, and how everything was going to shit. And better yet, I shared a room with him for three of the four years until I just couldnt take it anymore and moved out. Or got kicked out.

"We're here." Another groan from Craig. "Help me get him upstairs, I'll take you out for milkshakes." That bitch. Both doors in the back opened, and I was slumped over thier shoulders like a sack. I allowed myself to snooze, as they struggled up the two flights of stairs. I felt a hand reach in my pocket, and pull out my key. The door was pushed open, and I was thrown on the couch.

"Don't you think we should leave him a note? Explain how he got here?" She sounded concerned, but he ignored it.

"I'll check back on him tonight, I usually do anyway." He growled, stomping out of the room. I heard her heels clicking as she followed, but then she stopped. She stood for about a minute, before quietly closing the door behind her as she left. I reached for my head, which felt somewhat better. As I did almost every morning, I walked to the freezer and pulled out an icepack, and a toaster pizza. Slipping the cheezy piece of bread into the toaster, I went to turn on the T.V. when somethingn caught my eye. I picked up the notepad that Victoria had promptly written a letter.

_Kenny~_

_I feel bad for leaving you, but you were out for almost two days so me and Craig brought you back to your house. _

_He woke up before you came to, and he helped me bring you home. If you feel up to it, give me a call anytime._

_541-231-9871 ~ Victoria_

Some hot girl just gave me a number I could call for anytime sex. I might actually have to call a girl I met while I was drunk. I picked up the remote and turned on football, as the ding of the timer went off. I bit into the scaulding pizza, burning my tongue. "Mother fucker!" I threw the piping hot pizza at the plate on the ground, which reluctetly bounced off onto the carpet. "Shit!" Feeling extremly lazy, I plopped back down onto my cheap couch making the springs screech. I layed my head back onto the shitty pillow that matched, and closed my eyes. I was in need of a mid-day hangover nap. I fell asleep to the sound of the T.V. and the smell of burnt toaster pizza.

I ignored it, thinking I was dreaming, until it rung three more times. Hestitating, I got out of my current bed, and stepped in pizza sauce. Great. I made my way over to the door, white paint now peeling from it. I looked out the peephole, and saw nobody. I went to sit back down, when the doorbell rung again. "What the fuck do you want?" I yelled, glancing over at the clock which read 12:23pm. Silence. I turned the handle, and slowly opened the door, expecting a man with a gun or a sciopath strangler. Instead, I was left staring at a bundle of blankets. I started to close the door when I heard a small cry. I bent down next to the rags, and moved some aside. Shocked, I stood up. I couldnt move. Maybe it was a mistake, and somebody got the wrong address. I didnt know what to do but stare at the little baby on my doorstep.


	2. Chapter 2

I picked up the sqirming body, and cradled it in my arms. I had never held a baby before, or really been around one. The infant looked at me with bright blue eyes, and a small patch of blonde hair. Trying to convince myself that this was a mistake was near impossible considering the child's looks. If this was just a sick joke, then I wasnt enjoying it. I looked around anxiously for any sign of life, but the night was cold and dead. The only light shown far off in the distance, at least a mile away. "Hello?" I shouted, panicked. "Hello? Please, is anyone there?" The baby whimpered, and then burst into tears. Not knowing what to do, I brought it inside, locking the door behind me. "Oh god, please stop crying," My headache returned, but the crying only got louder. "What do you want?" I hissed, trying to stay quiet. The child sniffed, and rolled over in its blanket. Thank god. I put a pillow next to the now sleeping baby in hopes it wouldnt roll off the couch, and ran to the bathroom. I leaned over the toilet and puked, not sure why. Closing my eyes, tears ran down my cheek pressed against the lid. Tommorrow, I could call someone for help. Everything would work itself out, but it could wait until I had at least enough sleep to funcion. Too tired to move, I fell to the scratchy lavender mat below the sink and started to fall asleep. A shrill scream rung through my small apartmant, and the crying continued. I shot up, and started crying myself, as I crawled to the couch. I picked up the child, and coughed. The smell of shit hit me like bomb. Not really sure what to do, I removed the diaper. The baby grunted, and sniffed. A smile lit up her face, and soon turned into giggling. I couldnt help but smile, as I slumped back into the bathroom for toilet paper. When I came back, I dropped it. "Shit...everywhere..." Brown streaks were all across the couch coming from the discarded diaper. I picked the wet toilet paper back up and wrapped it all over my shaky hands. Plugging my nose, I cleaned the couch as best I could and moved on to the baby. "Well, your a girl then." She giggled. I turned her over, and wiped her butt. "I cleaned up your shit, now please be quiet-" She closed her eyes, and with one final sniff, fell asleep. "Finally." Not wanting to be in a ten mile radius of that couch, I took the pillow, and fell asleep on the floor.

* * *

My phone buzzed, and blared an awful tune. By now it was morning, but I refused to get up. The music repeated, so I pressed the pillow over my head muffling any noise. Another time it played, and something much worse filled the room. More fucking crying. I ran over to my pants and despretly dug through the pockets, and when I couldnt find my phone, threw them against the wall. When they fell to the floor, my phone shattered. "Oh fuck!" I screamed, slamming my forehead with my fist. The crying didnt stop. I turned to her, and yelled. "Dammit just shut the fuck up you worthless peice of shit!" Her cries echoed through my mind, like a song you cant get out of your head. Exempt the song is a baby crying. After having enough, I stormed out the door and practically broke it when I shut it. I leaned against the door, and covered my face with my hands. "I'm so screwed," I sobbed. "So fucking screwed." Her wails caught my ear again, and they got more intense. I took a breath, and went inside to grab a pair of my boxers and pull them over her flailing legs. Pulling on my orange parka and scooping her up, I grabbed a few quarters and went downstairs.

I slid the change in the slot and picked up the hanging phone, and dialed a number. Rocking back and forth made her shut up, so I continued until she was once again asleep. There was a click at the other end of the line, and then I heard a voice.

"Hello?" He yawned, not caring who he was talking to.

"Kyle? I need you to come over...right now." My voice was shaken, and he noticed.

"Whats wrong? Are you alright-"

"Please hurry," I begged. There was a long silence, before he spoke again.

"Kenny, I'm in Denver. It'll be at least an hour before I can come over. What's the emergency?" Damn his fancy ass college all the way over in Denver. I looked down at the baby in my arm, and sighed.

"Kyle, I'm calling you from a phone booth outside of my apartment and I have eleven seconds left. Just tell me if you can come."

"I...I...I'll be there. This better be important Kenny." I frowned at his words.

"Unbelivibly. And Kyle, on your way up can you bring di-" The line went dead and a female voice came through the reciever.

"_You're time for this call has ended. If you wish to talk further, please insert the desired amount below." _

I reached in my pocket, empty of quarters. "Damn it." And with that, I headed off the the bar, baby in my arms.

As I walk along the roadside, a cold spark hits my nose. I look up, just as rain drops pour from the suddenly gray sky. The bundled baby in my arms begins to shake violently, and not knowing what else to do, unzip my parka and hug her to my chest. I pull the strings on my hood, and feel the shaking come to a halt. She moves around for a moment before biting hard on my bare chest. "Ouch that hurt you little fucker!" Ignoring my attempts to pull her from my chest, she not only continues but tries to suck. I stare down at her, as a smile breaks across my face. "Sorry kid, as you can tell I don't have boobs at the moment." Her small lips start to tremble, as my hands shake trying to muffle the sniffling. "Well shit I dont have any milk for you-" I tried rocking her, or jumping up an down for a start. This only caused, to my dismay, her to erupt into ear bleeding screams. I hugged her small body closer as by passers glared at me suspiciously. I started into a run, but was quickly stopped by a cop. He eyed me, infant hidden under my parka, only other clothing besides sweats.

"Sir," He began, aching for words. "What are you..." I shook my head quickly, removing the baby from my coat.

"Oh fuck, I swear to god I didn't kidnap this kid!" The grey haired policeman stared at the baby, a smile plastered on his wrinkly face.

"Your baby's wearing boxers," He stated, almost in question. I looked at the whining little girl in my arms, and realized that she was only wearing a pair of my blue underwear. "Why-"

"I didn't have any diapers, and," I closed my eyes. "I also don't have clothes." His smile dropped, and he handed me a card.

"Son, if you need any help with anything, give this number a call. I'm sure they could be of some assistance to you and your daughter." I took the slip of velvety paper, as he stepped into his car and drove off. I stood in the rain for god knows how long, cars passing by, not really giving a fuck about two people freezing in the rain. Just as I began to cover her back in my coat, I heard a loud honk from behind me. I turned around, and ran to the car. The window rolled down, and smoke poured out.

"Well Kenny, did you forget where you left your car?" I glared.

"I swear to god Craig, let me in before I kick your ass." He smirked. I heard the car click, and I ran around to the passenger side and opened the door. "So, we're to pretty boy-" He turned the keys, and pulled them back out as soon as he heard the moans from under my parka. Without saying anything, I pulled her out and set her on my lap. His eyes grew, and the familiar click of the car locked me back in. "Why the fuck do you have a baby?" He practically screamed. I took off my orange coat, and tossed it in the back, pressing the child against my bare skin to get her warm. "Kenny...what did you do?" I looked at him, panic in my eyes, pleading with him for help. "Dammit answer me-"

"I didn't do anything you fucking douche! The kid just appeared on my doorstep at one in the morning, and I have no idea what the bloody fucking hell to do!" I broke down into helpless tears, and threw my head at the dashboard. Craig just stared, mortified. I wept without even noticing his absence from the vehicle, only did I seem to realize he was gone until he sat back down in his chair and started the car. He turned the heat on high, and veered from the parking lot. He reached into the back, and handed me a wad of clothes.

"Uhm...put something on the baby, so it gets warm. You can change into something dry, I guess." I picked through the smelly heap until I found a white shirt, which I pulled over my head. Craig shook so bad, as he glanced from traffic to the surprise in his passenger seat. "I'm taking you to the store." I looked at him, and simply nodded.

"We have to go to the bar, I won money and I have to-"

"Just...take this." He handed me a bill, and I took it without rejection. We pulled into the lot of the market, and he unlocked the doors. I started to get out, when he grabbed me by the shirt. "Dude?" I turned around. He looked at the baby one last time, before grinning. "Buy diapers, lots of them. And Kenny," He looked at me with such respect, it scared me. "You'll be a good dad." His words echoed through my mind as I left the car and made my way into the store.

I walked around aimlessly for almost an hour before tapping the shoulder of an employee. "Uh, excuse me?" He turned around and adjusted his glasses.

"What is it kid?" I probably turned green, and quickly shook my head.

"Is there a...er...woman employee I can speak to?" He sighed and dragged me over to the checkout.

"Amanda! You've got a customer." and with that, he turned around and went to fill out a prescription.

"And how can I help you two today?" I gaped, confused, until I realized the reason I had come.

"Oh, uh, I need...like...stuff for a baby." Her eyebrows rose at my response, and gleefully led me to the isles of baby shit. "What exactly do you need for a baby?" She laughed.

"What do you think silly?" I shrugged. Understanding my predicament, she pressed her eyebrows together, concerned. "Well you need clothes! Baby's need to be kept warm or they can get extremely sick and die!" I turned pale at the thought, as she shoved me into a section of miniature jumpsuits. "Those over there are all fifty percent off," She pointed to a small rack of boy clothes and bibs, all blue or covered in race cars. Not much caring at this point, I grabbed a few shirts and small pants and realized that they would be just about as big as my boxers on her. The woman saw this, and piled my arms with newborn attire.

"Okay, and what else do babies need?" She winked.

"Wait here." So I stood there, baby in one arm, clothes in the other. In less than a minute, little miss sunshine came skipping back with two large bags, stuffed to the tops. "It's pretty much everything you'll need for the next two weeks-" My mouth dropped.

"Holy shit! That's only for two fucking weeks?" I dropped the clothes and pinched the bridge of my nose. "Well...how much will all this shit cost?" Tying her blonde hair up in a ponytail, she led me to checkout.

I handed her my money, and prayed it was enough. "Heres your change," She cooed, handing me a nickel. Thank god for Craig! I took the bags, and walked away from the counter. "And sir-" I stopped. "You have to change your babies diaper after every meal. There are wipes and sanitarium things in there, too." I smiled, before going behind the counter and hugging her. She froze, but hugged me back.

As I walked back to my apartment, her lilac perfume still hung just under my nose. I reached for my pocket, but realized my parka was still in the back of Craig's truck. "Fuck!" My scream echoed through the close walls, causing the red head to spin around. "Kyle," I began to run to him, slumped against his Mercedes. Damn those fancy boarding schools. "Kyle!" He stepped towards me, holding out a tower of Chinese food.

"Hey Ken, I brought Chinese!" I slumped over, panting. "Now what's so goddamn important that you made me drive all the way from-" I clenched my jaw as I showed him the baby girl cradled in my arms. He grew pale, and gasped, dropping the Chinese food.

"I called you because I need some serious fucking help." He sighed, and threw his head back.

"Oh my god, please tell me that that kid isn't..." I nodded, holding my breath. He bit his lip, and touched her cheek, holding back a smile. "She looks just like you, Kenny." He looked up at me. "How did this happen? I saw you is months ago and you didn't even have a girlfriend."

"Ky, it just kinda happened. I need your help." He slowly nodded, before fiddling with his thumbs.

"There's just one thing..." I nodded, as he looked at me like he had just seen a ghost. "Are you sure that that's your child?" I blinked. Was I sure this was my child?

"Uh..." I tried to think of something logical and brainy to say, but there was nothing. I hadn't really thought that she wasn't mine, considering the unbelievable amount of women I've slept with, one of them was bound to get pregnant sooner or later.

"Kenny?" I blinked again, shaking those thoughts away.

"Help me, or go away." He took the sleeping girl from my arms and held her up, closely examining her every part.

"Theres really nothing to say, exempt dude, your screwed." I stared at him, shocked. Well fuck.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N~ I'm sorry for the late update, I lost this chapter when it didn't save, and had to re-write all of it. So I'll try to update at least every other day now, but it won't be as late as this update was, I promise. Again, please reveiw and thanks for reading! -M**

* * *

I threw the bags onto the couch, but were quickly moved by Kyle. Digging through, he pulled out at least ten things and started to create a diaper changing station on the cushions. "You need a new couch." He simply stated, before stipping off the pair of boxers. I peeked around the wall, and noticed the white cloud forming around the infant. I took another step in the living room, just before they both started coughing.

"Uh, Kyle? What are you doing?" He waved his hand, tring to clear out some of the powder. "What the fuck! Your making a mess-" I was interupted by a sneeze, so small it could have been fake. We both looked down at the child, covered in baby powder. Kyle cocked his head.

"Aw, thats adorable!" He exclaimed, picking up a diaper from the bag. I watched closley, taking notes as Kyle effortlessly wrapped her in a diaper and pressed it closed with his thumbs. He then handed the squirming baby to me, and instucted me how to put on her outfit. I tugged on her legs, trying to keep them strait so I could clothe the damn thing. As soon as I managed to get one of her feet in, she pulled it out and burst into tears.

"You little fucker hold still!" I groaned, struggling to at least cover some part of her. Kyle shoved me aside, and began to pull the little jumpsuit on without any struggle. Her feet, now covered in a light pink, flared in every which way, trying to escape the powdery mess. Then, I noticed Kyle himslef was begining to struggle, as he cussed under his breath. When the outfit had made its way over her small shoulders, Kyle quickly stood up and began to button it up.

"You've got quite a fighter here, Ken. What's her name, anyway?" He questioned, snapping the last button just above her collarbone. I thought about it for a minute, and sat on the couch, shooting a gush of powder into the air.

"I don't actually know, I mean, there have been other things on my mind latley besides names, like oh I dont know, how about _I'm_ _a fucking father_, _Kyle_!" I spat, instantly hushing my voice. Her screams bounced off the walls, and continued for only seconds before a loud bang hit the wall. A muffled yelling came from the other end, as did more banging. Again, it set her off. Well shit. "Ay, fuck off! You're not the one with a god damn baby making your fucking ears bleed!" I shout, but my own words are interupted by Kyles, as calm as ever.

"Kenny, she's not stopping. I think she's just hungry." The pounds stop, so I turn around to face him, willingly holding a screaming baby in his arms. "Maybe we should feed her." I nod, and take her from him, making my way to the door.

"Alright then- let's go find a chick." He stands there for a minute, before running after me.

"Uh, Kenny-" I feel a hand on my shoulder, and turn around. "Where the hell are you going?" I give him a look, and shrug.

"I'm going to find some chick with big tits, what do you think?" He stared at me, completly mortified.

"Dude, you can get laid some other time, we have to feed-" I waved him off, as if I knew what I was doing.

"Well yeah, why do you think I'm gonna find a chick with tits? She's hungry, right?" I shoved the baby to Kyle, and he swiped her away, trying to stop her bauling.

"Kenny," He started, still confused if I was serious. "Some random person on the street isn't going to breast feed a baby just handed to them," I looked down, but smiled.

"Dont worry, that's what prostitutes are for!" He glares, and starts back into the house. "Hey, Kyle!" I run back into the house, and watch him spread the bags contents all over the carpet.

"I may have never raised a child, but I know common sense. And I actually paid attention in school, and more importantly health class. They even_ taught_ you how to look after a baby!" I rolled my eyes, and crossed my arms. "And if you did happen to pay attention, which you didn't, you would know that women have to have the right hormones to breast feed, they can't just-"

"Your point, smartass?" I ask, on the verge of a yawn. He glares, and continues sorting through the shit.

"Sit your ass down." Without arguing, I sit cross legged next to him. There is a side to this guy that would scare Satin. "I'm going to teach you how to care for a baby." I moaned, which made him snap. "Don't be a dick. You need to know this stuff," His voice soffened, as the wailing finally ended. He put a finger to his lips, signaling me to shut up. Kyle looked down at the girl, and then back at me. "Do it for your daughter," I froze at the last word, and closed my eyes as chills sprang down my spine. "You're a dad, or at least until we know later today-" My eyes sprung open.

"What do you mean, 'until we know later today?' " I snapped. He looked at me, and shugged.

"We'll go to the doctor's office and get a DNA test to make sure you really are the father. Because if you're not, then it means you could be sued- or even send to prison- for kidnapping an infant." I feel sick, and turn as white as a ghost.

"B-But I didn't! She just showed up, a-and I-I...why does everyone think I fucking kidnapped her! Do I look like someone who kidnaps little girls?" I yelled in protest. He giggled. "What the hell's your deal?"

"Well...I'm almost positive most of the people you've slept with were underage." I glare.

"Just teach me how to take care of that fucker." He nods, and picks up a bottle. I laugh. "Dude, sick! That looks like a boob!" He rolls his eyes, and pulls out a container filled halfway with a thick sandy powder. "The fuck-"

"Okay Kenny, first lesson. _Pay attention_." I nod, and he continues. "You can breast feed, and it is actually recommended over formula. But in your case, you don't have any milk available, so we'll use formula."

"Wait, how often are you supposed to feed the thing?" I ask, motioning towards the baby.

"At least three times a day, at the very least." I slap myself on the forehead.

"Well shit."

"What? What's wrong...Kenny, when did you last feed her?" He stares at the whining infant in his lap, and pokes me. "Kenny?"

"Two...two days, and I don't know how long she was-" He grabs me by the sleeve, and drags me into the kitchen. "K-Kyle?" He flys around the confined space, stirring the strange dust into some milk, and plopping it in the microwave.

"Two fucking days! How about you starve for two whole fucking days, my god!" He opens the microwave and removes the bottle, and grabs my hand. "Well?" I stare at him, confused.

"Well what?" His eyes widen, and he throws his hands in the air.

"My god, how fucking hot is it? Does it taste edible?" I bring my hand under my nose and sniff. It actually dosn't smell as shitty as I thought.

"It smells good, almost like...like a milkshake." He smiles, satisfied, and shoves the tip of the bottle into her mouth. She gasps at the strange object, but Kyle brings her tiny hands to the bottle and within minutes, she starts sucking happily. "She was just hungry. All that crying...because she was hungry?" He blinks, not really sane at the moment, and grabs her from the counter. We sit back down in the living room, and start to sort all the clothes into small piles. Eventually, Kyle shows me how to put on a diaper. We go through about ten on my attempts to get them around her butt. She lays there, completly happy though the unneeded diaper changes, sipping her formula. Finally, I manage a semi perfect fold and look at Kyle for approval. He smiles, and nods.

"Congradualtions, you can almost change a diaper." I was obviously more thrilled at my acheivment then him, but he couldnt kill my happy. I slipped her pajamas back on without any fuss, and sat there not knowing what to do next. "Well?" He shrugged.

"Let's go, then." He stretched, and took the child from my arms. For the first time ever, I held him back. Once I realized my grip was making her uncomfortable, I let go and Kyle tossed me the keys. "You're driving, I'll set the GPS." Without an answer he left to the car. At least if I was driving a hundred thousand dollar car around, I could pick up chicks with big tits for back up in case I ran out of formula.

He punched a few butons on the GPS, and fell back into the heated chair. I turned the keys, as the mechanical voice directed me out of the parking lot. "No shit, sherlock." He laughed, and turned on the stereo. Of course, Mozart.

As I got on the main road, I noticed out of the cornor of my eye, Kyle cooing to the baby. It made me smile how fatherly he was, but it also was annoying. How he knew so much about raising a child, I would never know. Kyle lifted the little girl into the air, so her head was just below the ceiling. He brought her back down, after he was done bouncing her until she couldnt take it anymore, only to cradle her in his arms. I pressed on the brake when the light turned red and rolled to a stop. When I noticed the lack of giggling and cooing, I looked over to see his careful fingers tracing every detail of her perfect face. He never did notice me stare, for he was so focused on her. I jolted forward when the car behind us blasted a honk, and slammed the gas, not knowing how long it had been green. As I followed the directions, coming closer and closer to the hospital, I kept wanting to stop.

"Dude, are you okay? You look sick." Kyle had gotton her asleep, and he rocked her every so gently keeping it that way.

"I...I...what if she's...she's _not_ mine," He stared at the baby, and shook his head. "I mean, I-"

"Kenny, she looks j_ust_ like you." I felt my eyes burn. He put a comforting hand on my shoulder. "She looks just like her _dad_. It's only a precaution we have to take, and plus, we need to find out the mother." He said. I blinked, as we pulled into the parking lot of the hospital. I kept it on idle, and turned to him.

"The mother." I didn't even expect a response. It was almost as if I was talking to myself, but he did say something.

"Kenny, this you _need_ to know." I nodded, and got out of the car. It felt like I was on death row, walking to my doom. Even though I knew that I needed to know these things, I almost thought of running away from it. Running from the truth, because I knew I didn't want to know.

Kyle held the door open, and I entered the sterile room. A man behind the counter greeted us, and had Kyle fill out the paperwork. I couldn't, because I was shaking so badly. We sat there in silence for who knows how long, until I heard my name.

"Kenneth McCormick?" Kyle shot up, and waited as I slowly got up from the chair. Since Kyle was the first up, the doctor led him into the room first too. "Are you Mr. McCormick?" He shook his head, and pulled me forward. "Ah, Mr. McCormick, what can we help you with today?" I held his gaze, unti lhe followed it down to my arms. "Is you're child sick?" I sat down it the chair so loudly, it slammed against the wall leaving a dent.

"I need a DNA test." He looked at me, concerned. "I need to know if this is my..." I held my breath. "My...daughter." The doctor nodded firmly, and left the room.

"Where the hell is he going?" I heard Kyle speak up from the other side of the room. He groaned and sat down next to me. "Seriously, I hope this dosn't take long." I turned my head.

"Why, do you have somewhere more important to be? I mean, don't you wanna know if you'll be 'Uncle Kyle?' " I teased, nudging him on the shoulder. He took a breath and started to rub the back of his neck. "Dude, really. Was there somewhere you needed to be?" He faced me and sighed with a slight smile.

"I honestly didn't think I would ever hear from you again, I mean, I've only seen you..what, like twice since college? That's why I was so surprised when you asked me to come out," He rubbed his neck nervously again. "I was going to tell you next time I saw you." The clink of a bottle hit the floor, causing me to look down.

"What were you going to tell me, dude?" He laughed.

"Well...uh...me and Bebe...we...we're getting...married." Just as I brought the bottle back up to her lips, it fell from my hands and rolled under the desk.

"You're _what_?" I exclaimed, reaching for the bottle.

"Well, we have been dating since highschool, so I proposed last September," I smiled evily, as I continued feeding her the remaining formula. "And this weekend we were going to plan the wedding, but when you called, you sounded like you really needed me." I rolled my eyes.

"So, you finally decided to settle down then? My man!" I yelled, slapping him hard on the back. He turned a bright red, and looked away. "Dude, if you had told me that you and your _fiance_ were planning _your_ _wedding, _I wouldn't have asked you to come!" He smiled childishly, and pulled down his worn green hat to his brow. Just then, a new face strode into the room and pulled a chair right in front of my feet.

"Let me properly introduce myself, my name is Micheal, and I'll be your doctor today." Micheal said, holding out a hand. I shook it, then quickly pulled back from his iron grip. "Let me make sure I have this right, you are here today for a DNA test to make sure that this is indeed your child?" I nodded, and he continued. "Well then, would you mind me asking you a few questions?"

"Hit me."

"Are you aware who the maternal mother of this infant is?" I blinked, having no idea what he just said. I looked at Kyle, and he quickly spoke up.

"No sir, we're not aware of whom the birth mother is. The baby came as a surprise, actually." Micheal pulled out a pair of reading glasses and set them promtly on his nose.

"What do you mean?" Kyle looked at me and nodded, handing the conversation off to me.

"One night, I opened my door, and there was a baby. We've been taking care of her ever since." I jotted something down on his paper, and brought the pen up to his mouth.

"This is classified as child neglect, and abuse. It is possible to press charges, but you will need a DNA test to find out the birth mother in order to do that. Even so, you will need a lawyer, and have to bring this whole thing to court." I moaned, and slumped in my chair.

"Shit- I'm dirt poor, how the fuck am I supposed to afford some fancy ass lawyer when I can barley afford cheap booze-" I cut myself off when I felt Kyle's death glare. "I...I don't think this needs to be brought to court." He sternly nodded, and pulled out a box. Before removing the contents, he made a face, and glanced from me to Kyle.

"Are you looking forward to finding out as well?" I stared at Kyle, who sat there unmoving.

"I...I guess so, I mean I hope it's his child, but...why do you ask?" Kyle had a hint of suspision to his voice.

"Oh, I just assumed you two were together, that's all." My jaw dropped, and Kyle bounced from his chair.

"What! The fuck, I'm not gay for him! Why the hell would you-" I shrieked, interupted by Kyle's hysteria.

"Oh my god, do I look gay? Fucking shit, I have a god damn fiance! Man..." He trailed off, muttering to himself, until he eventually sat back down. The doctor stared at us, scared shitless, until he finally spoke up.

"Well, if that's so, let's at least make sure this is in fact your child," He said, moving his attention to me. Micheal removed a thin tube from the box, and pulled out a swab and held it to my mouth. "Say, 'Aw!' " I quickly opened my mouth and allowed him to poke around, before he slid it back in it's tube. "Now, for the little one." I held her upright, and pushed her into his hands. He pulled another tube out, and stuck the clean swab into her mouth, placing it back in it's container. He removed his gloves, and placed the tubes of spit into the box once again. "Alrighty then, looks like we're all done here." I raised an eyebrow, confused.

"When will we know if she's...my daughter?" He placed a hand on my shoulder and gave it a squeeze.

"We'll call you as soon as we get the results from the test. As for now, keep the infant as you were doing. If she turns out not to be yours, we can discuss legal issues." I bit my lip. "Don't worry, it'll be okay." As much aas I hated old people, he gave me some comfort. With a final nod, he left us alone. Kyle and I sat in silence before we gogt up, and left the clinic.

"So...when's the wedding?" He looked at me, blushing again. "I'm invited, right?"

"Of course, Kenny. We were actually going to plan the date this weekend, but...I guess it's Bebe's call now." I frowned.

"Kyle, I'm sorry, if I would have known-"

"Dude, don't worry about it." He reassured. I nodded, and stepped out into the cold night air.

A light snow had just begun to fall, and quickly turned the black assphault a shimmering white. I held my face up, letting the cold drops numb my cheeks. Kyle did the same, and held out his tounge. It was retarded, but I felt the need to follow. So there we stood, catching snowflakes on our tounges like a bunch of kids who had never seen snow before. Everything seemed to just melt around us, as the traffic in the distance faded, leaving it peacful and quiet. Way too quiet.

"Shit!" I scream, turning back from the car. Kyle's eyes snap open as he looks around wildly.

"Huh, what? What's happening?" By the time he turned back, I was already halfway back to the clinic, sprinting at full speed. "Kenny! What are you-" I heard his sentance stop, and anxious footsteps run after mine. "Where..."

My mind raced, set in a panic. "Where the fuck did we leave the baby?"


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N~ Okay, I FINALLY have thought out the rest of the story, so you'll have longer chapters that I update (I'm seriously this time) every other day. I'll try to put out at least three chapters this week, and there _might_ be four. But dont get your hopes up if I only write two, because I might not like where the story is going, and change my mind and have to restart the chapter. I'm planning on having this go to 9 chapters, and adding a tenth one in the time of the wedding. I'm sorry if I disapointed any K2 fans out there, but Kyle and Kenny will NOT be having a gay affair LOL. I DO love that pairing, but I also wanted a strait pairing. And I've officially decided the fate if Kenny will find the mother or not, and if he will find another girl. The answer is...SOON TO COME!**

**THANK YOU to the people who are reveiwing, it REALLY helps me, even if you dont think it does. Again, read and reveiw~ THANKS! **

**~M**

* * *

My open palms slammed into the glass door, as I pushed through them into the lobby. Kyle fell through them right after me, gasping for air. I watched his expression change into panic, as his emerald eyes flicked around the room searching for some sign of her presence. I followed his actions, dragging my eyes along the barley noticable rooms behind the blue floral curtains, and short hallways. My eyes getting wetter by the second, hard as it was to keep myself from breaking down in public once again. Kyle wrapped his fingers around my arm, and tugged me towards the hallway. He flashed me a look, and held up a finger to his mouth, then pointed it towards the first desk.

It hit me that if we explained how we managed to lose a baby, and were looking for her in a congested hospital, we might be sent to the asylum. As crazy as it sounds, it wasn't extremly hard to forget a child when there's more important things on your mind, and your trying not to focus about cleaning the shit out of a diaper when you get home. Not that thats unimportant, but just slightly less than other things.

Kyle dropped my sleeve, and made his way over to the curtain hiding one of the hundreds of rooms that was ours. He motioned for me to come, and I followed. Kyle held the curtain up, as I ducked under and strode past the scales. He caught up, and jumped to my side. "What room were we in?" He whispered, slowing down his pace. I gazed at all the doors, which all seemed the same. "Kenny-" I came to a hault, and once he realized I wasn't by him, galloped back to me.

"Dude, I've been more than drunk this entire time. What, you think I just come here completly sane and not wanting to jump off a bridge? Fuck no!" I spout. Kyle just rolls his eyes, as if that was what he expected.

"Whatever. Just keep your god damn voice down, or I swear I'll rip out your tongue!" He hisses, pointing a finger at me. "Now help me find the room." I nod stubbornly, but follow. He peeks in every room on the right, as I copy but on the left. Almost every room is empty, but occasionally, we'll pull out because a nurse spotted us. Just as I duck back out of the last room in the row, I step back, tripping over a metal trash can. I stay frozen on the floor, as the can bounces back up the hallway, banging as it goes. With every second, more heads poke from the rooms thought to be vacant. I swallow, as a doctor comes and stands at my feet.

"Sir, there are patients resting, some recovering from surgery," He growls. "Let's try an avoid any further disturbance, shall we?" I sigh, relieved, as he takes my arm and helps me up. As I'm about to speak, he shakes his head. "I'll be escorting you out of the hospital, now." I tug my arm away, looking around, trying to catch a glimpse of our room, a faint memory. One more fucking important now than changing a diaper. "Sir, let's make this easy on everyone, including yourself. Follow me to the exit, now-" He attempts to take hold of my sleeve, but I back up.

"NO! I need to stay- please!" I plead, as more doctors surround me. "PLEASE!" They take every limb, and pin me to the ground. I kicked and spat like I was high, until there was so much pressure on top of me I couldn't breathe without pushing someone off me long enough to suck in air. I let out a scream, but it was barley a squeak.

"Sedate him!" I hear someone yell. My eyes widen as I dash despretly trying to escape. With one last good kick to a jaw, I feel a needle jab into my leg. I twitch, as another stabs my arm and neck. My twitching becomes complete stillness. When the crowd of doctors spread, I spot Kyle, who's sitting in the cornor, pale. _Kyle, get up. _He's still staring at me, rocking back and forth. _Move your god damn ass, Kyle! _Helplessly, I mouth the words, nothing coming out. _Go find my fucking daughter! _His eyes widen, and he quietly stands up, and moves from the crowd. His eyes follow mine, as he finds himself against the wall, moving farther away from me. Before he turns the cornor, he smiles sadley and mouths- _I will. _You better, Jewboy. When I'm sure he's out of sight, I move my head to look at the doctor, who had to be such a bitch and ruin the plan. He starts to turn to an assistant, but he can't take his attention from me. Finding something in me, something that made me crack a smile, I looked up at him.

"Go to hell, you fucking asshole." I smirk. He raises an eyebrow, and turns away. What a bitch.

* * *

I'm assuming he came back for me, only to lie like a dog to get me out. I didn't bother opening my eyes to the unfamiler car, because my feet were touching the drivers seat, not the bars of a patrol car. If I wasn't on my way to jail, not that I hadn't been before, I couldn't care less were I was going at the moment. When I sat up, a wave of tingles ran though my body, and moaned at the discomfort. Kyle's familiar green hat turned around, only to turn right back. When I realized that this time he wasn't driving, I shook away the dizziness and focused more on the familiar blonde curls pressed against her seat. She slowly moved the wheel in a circle, before the car came to a stop in the darkness. Without a thought, she spun around to look me up and down. "How are you, hun?" I forced myself from the daze, and shrugged.

"I'm fine, Bebe." The after affect of the meds they gave me were almost like that of acid. It feels so good, but you feel like shit at the same time.

"Are you sure?" I started to nod, but than felt sick. I saw her eyes widen, and she quickly stretched behind me to roll down a window. When the glass slid under, I pushed myself out of the small opening and puked. I waited, but nothing else came. When I pulled back inside, she was frowning. "Hun...you're not okay."

"No shit sherlock! Where the fuck is my baby-" I was cut off by Kyle, who snatched Bebe's designer purse from the floor beneth them and slammed it against my cheek. "Ow! what the fuck!" I grabbed my cheek, throbbing under my sweaty hand.

"Don't talk to her like that, asshole." He spat.

"Then don't call me an asshole you Jewish peice of shit!" I retorted. Kyle glared, and crossed his arms. Bebe just looked at me and frowned.

"Ken, hun, please don't yell to loud-" I leaned forward, close enough that her nose pressed against mine.

"I can fucking yell if I want to! I have a reason, now shut the fuck up-" Instead of the purse hitting me, Kyle slammed his fist against my jaw. I fell back into the seat, and bit my lip, tasting the copper liqiud start to escape my mouth. "You bitch!" I screamed, slamming a foot at his gut. He grunted, and wrapped his arms around his chest.

"Don't you _ever _talk to my fiance like that again." Instead of fighting back, I just closed my eyes. Bebe angrily pointed a finger at Kyle, then moved it to her lips.

"Why does everyone have to be so fucking quiet-" I cut myself off this time, as I saw her pull up the pink bundle into her arms. "Kyle," He ignored me, as Bebe pressed her towards me. I took her without hestitaion, and started to cry. "Thank god," I sobbed, pressing my dirty blonde locks against her blanket. "Thank god." I felt Bebe's very expensive heel jab my toe through the worn shoe, and I looked up.

"You should actually thank Kyle, hun. He was the one who got her back from the _very_ anger doctor who you left her with." She stated, glancing down at my arms. "She is a beautiful baby, Ken." I smiled, looking down myself. This time, I didn't just glance at her chubby cheeks, or the top of her head. I admired her. Her hazel eyes, so many shades of autum it was indescribable. Her hair, not at all dirty blonde, but a gold. Her lips, a light red, and her cheeks were a sweet rosey pink. I found her more or less a baby, but now seeing her perfections, I now truley saw that she was _mine_.

"She is beautiful, isn't she." I smiled. When I looked back up, Bebe's smiled had died. "Bebe?"

"Kenny, we need to talk about something." We both eyed Kyle, who had decided to speak up. "I know that that little inncedent that happened earlier wasn't all your fault. I'll take some of the blame, I should have been paying attention to everything. But," Bebe furrowed her brow, and shook her head.

"Not right now, hun. We'll talk about it later," She gave him an understanding smile, and pecked him on the lips. "Let's get home and get settled in before we do anything else." Kyle looked at me concerned, but then nodded. The car roared to life, and we slid back onto the road. "Kenny?" She took her eyes from the road, and quickly gave me a glance to make sure I was paying attention. "You're coming to Denver with us. When we get home, I'll get some fresh sheets on the bed, and you can stay in the spare room." I gaped at her, utterly confused.

"Wait...why the hell am I coming to Denver with you guys? I have to be in Colorado Springs when they call about the tests-"

"Calm your tits, Ken. I gave them our cell phone numbers, and the land line for updated contacts. We also set up an appointment for her." He said, pointing to the baby. Bebe tilted her head slightly to get a veiw of Kyle.

"Did you just call the baby 'her?'" She asks, akwardly smiling. "Kenny, didn't you give that sweetiepie a name?"

"I..." They look at me anxiously. "I...I havn't, no." She looks somewhat dissapointed, but than quickly brightens up.

"Oh goodie! Let's think of names!" Kyle groans.

"No offense babe, but it's three in the morning, and you're the only one who can actually think this early." He remarked. "I mean...it's not a bad thing you're always so preppy-" Bebe glares at him, and sighes.

"Well than since I'm the only one who actually gives a damn what Kenny names his daughter, how about I name off a few, and Kenny? You say if you like any, alright hun?" I nod, it not actually being a bad idea. "Alrighty than. Let's see- well, I'm naming our daughter Haley, and our son...Logan-" Kyle sits strait up, and gasps.

"Oh fuck...since when are we having kids? And since when are you pregnant with _twins_?" He exclaimed. She shrugs.

"Well...it was just a nice though I guess. But names, right. Okay- Hannah, Bailey, Tessa, Katie, Leah, Kaitlin, Rebecca-" She stops when Kyle raises a finger.

"I like the name Rebecca!" He announces. Bebe smacks his shoulder and shakes her head.

"I can't_ believe_ you still remember her! And plus, it's Kenny's choice." She adds.

"I only remember her because she was my first kiss." He pouts.

"Well than," She clears her throat. "Tammy, Olivia, Claire, Emma-" I open my mouth, and they both turn to me. "Which one?"

"Eye's on the road, Bebe," Kyle cautions, tapping the wheel. "Baby on board." She grits her teeth and turns back to face the road, which had transformed from a freeway to a small town road in only minutes.

"Well, I like Emma," I say, almost asking a question. Kyle smiles, and looks at Bebe who is shaking her head.

"No, it has too many 'M's in the name. Emma McCormick. Too...wordy." Kyle rolls his eyes.

"Oh, and like Bebe Broflowski isn't too many 'B's?" He countered. Bebe taps the wheel with her finger, arguing with herself. "I like Emma, it's a nice name." He reassures me. I smile, and move aside the blanket covering her hair.

"Well, good morning Emma." Kyle is just sitting there, adoring her as much as I am. Just then, I hear the doors unlock, and we run over a small bump and began driving towards the house. I thought we were on the road still, but when I squinted hard enough, I realized we were on a driveway. A very _long_ driveway. Soon enough, we came to the house. My mouth dropped in awe, as the car came to a stop. Their "house" was really more of a full blown masion. "Uh, hey Kyle?" He turns around. "Why the _fuck _didn't you tell me you lived in a palace?" Bebe laughs.

"It's not a palace. And plus, we're moving. This was only temporary until the wedding-" I cut her off.

"And I wanted to say I'm sorry about that, too. I didn't mean to steal your fiance from you while you were planning," She opens her mouth, but I continue. "I mean, I just didn't know who else to call, and I honestly didn't know-"

"Hey dude? Grab your shit from the back, okay?" I nod, and hand Bebe Emma, still fast asleep. I watch as she walks down the path to the front door, cooeing to her as they walk. When I walk to the trunk, Kyle stops me. "Time to talk, Ken." I lean against the car.

"What?" He looks down at his feet, and puts his hands in his coat pockets. "Dude, what?"

"I lied, Emma dosn't have a doctor's appointment," I cocked my head, confused. "I mean, it is an _appointment_." He began walking away from the house, so I followed. "When I was filling out the paperwork for your testing, I put our address here."

"And, why?" I question. He bites his lip.

"Well because...because I knew something like this would happen." I push his arm so he's facing me.

"What do you mean '_something like this,'_ Kyle?" I growl.

"When I found the room we were in, it was empty. Not knowing what else to do, I went to the reception desk and lied about what happened. They had the baby- they had Emma is custody. When they wouldn't let me take her, they said only the parents were allowed to leave with the child. I told them you were sedated and couldn't leave, which made them question," Kyle swallowed, and put his head to the sky. "They thought you were mentally instable to care for a child, but I explained how you were only that way because we left her, and couldn't find her. But even still, when they were looking for her, they found that she was underfed, sick, and underweight. Since I was on your forms as brother," He stopped to see my reaction, but I could care less. "I had to call Bebe because the keys to the car were gone, and we did your release paperwork, and Emma's. They gave me this, and told me to take you home." He handed me a crinkled peice of paper that he pulled from his back pocket. I scanned it, not able to read much of the handwriting.

"Well, what the fuck does it say?" I growled, looking at the two letters.

"Kenny," He pleaded sadley.

"Kyle, tell me what it says." He closed his eyes.

"It's a court order, you're facing charges up to $100,000 for child neglect and public disturbance." He stated, hiding any emotion. I stared at them blankly.

"And this one," He began, taking them both from my shaking hands. Both papers were already soaked in tears, which he noticed. I looked up at him, not caring who saw me cry. He saw me plead with him, begging him not to tell me. "This is the date Child Protective Services is coming for Emma."


	5. Chapter 5

He left me standing alone, under the rays of the setting moon. I didn't bother getting my stuff, not able to control the breaking sobs escaping my mouth. I stood there, looking into the darkened morning, listening to the sounds of crickets run from my cries. I thought everything was already going to shit. I was wrong. My life was turning into an utter hell, not like the ones I had seen, but the hell of reality. It killed me, knowing that the one thing that caused this shit to begin, the one thing I had just seemed to realize I loved, was being ripped from me. To say that it stung would be a lie, because the truth was that it _burned_. I didn't know what I was doing in Denver, all I knew was that the people- my friends- that I had abandoned, not giving a fuck about them, were the ones who seemed to care the most. Whenever they called for help, I didn't give a damn, hung up in the bliss of being young. But when I begged, there wasn't a second thought, and they came. I felt like an ass. That was only a small part of the horrible world that was now mine.

I dragged myself along the stone path, head pounding, stomach aching. I looked up and down the large house in front of me, and saw Bebe peeking through a heavily shaded window. She was watching me carefully, concern written on her face. It wasn't hard to read people, especially the ones who are closest to you. When someone would look at me, it would never actually be what they were saying that told you what they were thinking, it's the tone surrounding the words. You could be talking about the most wonderful thing imaginable, but it could be tainted with dread, or fear. That's more noticable than the expression someone puts on thier face, trying to cover what they don't want to feel.

The double doors creaked open, as her petite face poked out. She smiled sadley, and held it open. I pushed past her, and waited in the hall as the door clicked closed. The breeze whiffed through the space, making us both shudder. She turned to me, and realized the absence of luggage. Her eyes dropped. "I'll go get your stuff, and you can make yourself at home than," Bebe croaked, turning once again to the door. Feeling somewhat guilty, I stepped forward and grabbed her shoulder. She looked back, dark circles under her eyes. "Yes, your stuff-" She began, pulling from my grasp.

"Bebe, please don't. I'll get it later, don't worry about it. Get some rest." I said, beckoning her back inside. She nodded, yawning. "I'm sorry. About everything." She simply shrugged, and headed off down the endless hallway, her heels clicking slower and slower with each step. Suddenly, she stopped, swaying. Kyle came though the kitchen, wiping his hands on his ripped jeans.

"I gave her some formula shit, so she'll be good until morning-" I glanced worridly towards Bebe, and before I could answer, Kyle was by her side. With one swift move, he lifted her into his arms carrying her upstairs bridal style. I watched as her head rolled, curls swaying behind them as they made their way into the bedroom.

I found Emma on the granite floor sitting on a blanket, gurgling down formula. She was wide awake, sqeaking happily. I scooped her up, and hoisted myself onto the counter. Her legs flailed, so I set her down again, and reached for a banana. Kyle rejoined me shortly, looking quite tired himself. "Welcome back to the party," I joked through a mouthful of mush, raising my remaining banana. He chuckled.

"Some party." He replied, pounding the button on the coffee machine. "Coffee?" I raised an eyebrow.

"At what, 3am? I'm going to hit the sack, if you don't mind." He nodded, and pulled a single red mug from the pantry, filling it to the brim with the brown liquid. "Why the hell are you drinking coffee this early?"

"For your information, its not three- its almost five. And I have to leave for work in like twenty minutes-" He took a swig from the cup.

"You have to leave for work at fucking five in the morning? That's bullshit-" I crossed my arms, as he set his mug down.

"Keep your voice down, let the poor girl sleep." Kyle barked. I smirked, and looked down at the merry baby at my dangling feet.

"She's not gonna sleep, just to let you know dude." He glared.

"I meant Bebe smartass." My eyes widen, and I laugh nervously. "It's your damn fault she's so tired! I had to wake her up and make her drive all the way to the Colorado Springs hospital to lie her ass off, only to have to pay a huge fucking fine!" He shreiks.

"Dude, I'll pay you back the money-"

"It's not even about the money, Ken, it's the fact that we're holding off the wedding so you can stay in _our_ house. And if you want to make this any easier on her, you'll deal with your shit and get the hell out." Kyle throws his arms up, spilling hot coffee everywhere.

"Kyle, calm the fuck down!" I yell, dropping to the floor. "If you don't want we here, then why the hell did you bring me?"

"I wasn't the one who brought you Kenny, Bebe convinced me to put everything on hold while you got back on your feet. This wasn't my idea, I didn't even want to come see you! You've been such a dick to all your friends and family, no wonder I was the only person you called! Nobody fucking _wanted_ to come!"

"That's not the reason you fucking kike, I called you because I wanted to. Because you're my only friend who actually cares!" I wail. Kyle looks at the floor, as a few tears fall from under his shadow. I curse under my breath as Emma erupts into sobs, and I sink to the floor. "I don't know what to do, Kyle. I'm sorry if you hate me, and I'll leave if you want. But dude-" He growls, and turns to face the counter, gripping the edges so hard his knuckles turned white. "Don't cancel your wedding because of me." Kyle considers that, and storms from the room. I put Emma on my knee, and bounce her up and down, but she only gets louder. When I hear the footsteps clomping down the stairs, I assume it's Kyle and ignore when they enter the kitchen. I only look up when I see the fluffy pink slippers making their way towards me. "I...I didn't mean to wake-"

"Hun, just give me the baby? Please?" Her voice is strained and tired, but I hand her the baby, and she reaches for the bottle in my lap. I give it to her, and she returns to the hall. I sit there until I hear the front door slam shut, and quickly shoot up, startled by the noise. Kyle runs back into the kitchen, wearing a suit, black tie still undone.

"What's going on?" His question resolved when Bebe pushes the door open, struggling to carry the luggage. "Babe, what are you-" She gasps as the suitcase falls from her arm, spilling it's contents. Kyle lunges for it, and eargerly picks it up. "Why arn't you sleeping? I'm sorry babe, did I wake you up?" Bebe shook her head, and dropped the rest of the bags on the floor, handing me Emma.

"No, hun, the baby did." Kyle glared at me, but she grabbed his tie and whipped him around. "Don't worry about me. I'll sleep in the car if I feel it's nessicary." She joked, swifly tying his tie."Have a good day at work hun!" She pulled him forward and pecked him on the lips. This woke Kyle up, and he instanly kissed her back, not pulling away.

"I could always skip work, just for today," He interupted, smiling. She pressed her lips against his again, then pulled apart giggling. "A personal day." She pecked him one last time before shoving him outside.

When the door finally shut, she looked at me akwardly. "Well, I'll take the baby than," I gave her Emma, still spitting and crying. "Oh, don't cry hun! It's okay, Auntie Bebe is here now!" I laughed to myself as I watched her carry her bundle of joy upstairs.

As nice as it was having her love being woken up every sunrise to the screams of a baby, it hurt a little. When we all went our seperate ways after high school, she was the one person I didn't want to leave. I slept with so many people, but I could never manage to get her near a bed. She made me smile. She lit up my day, everyday. When school ended, and I still didn't have her as my own, I was going to ask her to come to California with me. When the day came, I drove to her house in my crappy pick up truck, the thought of Kyle completly slipped my mind. It only occured to me when I drove past her small house and saw the moving van outside, Kyle in the drivers seat. I never said anything. She was never my first love, or my first kiss, or anything special. She just always made me happy, something a hooker just can't seem to give you. The thought of my daughter, having her as an Aunt, just didn't seem right. She could have been more, but she chose Kyle. My best friend.

I lay on the couch, not able to fall asleep. I sit there, watching the stove's clock tick minute by minute, until a ray of the morning sun creeps through the curtains. It's blinding, so I shove a pillow over my face. It keeps the light out, but the sound of someone walking down the staircse echoes off the walls. I lift the pillow, and find Bebe smiling, still in her pajamas.

"Good morning little miss sunshine, you seem awfully happy for getting less than three hours of sleep." I yawn, stretching out over the couch. She laughs, and points to the coffee maker.

"The magic of caffine." She winks, and grabs the pillow from under my head. I flip her off, and she hits me over the head with the pillow, feathers flying out of it. "Oh shit...Kyle's gonna kill me." She quickly shoves the case under the couch, and pats her hands together. "Don't you fucking tell him McCormick, or I'll break your face in." She jokes. I laugh. "And theres something else you can't tell Kyle. I called Craig. He's bringing some more of your stuff-" Before she can finish, I jump off the feathery mess and hug her.

"I love you so fucking much, Bebe!" I shout. She giggles, and kisses my cheek.

"I know. Everybody does." Bebe motions for me to follow her, and I do. "But you might not in a second..." She squints. "Well...he's going to help you find a job. I'll look after Emma, but I have to work on Thurday, so..." She trails off, looking for a reaction. "So whatdaya think?"

"I'll get a job by Thursday. I promise." She rolls her eyes.

"I told him to take you for a guys night out, actually...Kyle thinks you're looking around for jobs. Shhh!" She winks and puts a finger up to her lips, and starts to walk away. "Oh, but I wasn't kidding about actually getting a job. You better have your ass employed by Thursday, or you'll have to face my wrath."

"I'd like a peice of that," I mumble.

As I began to wander around the house, I'm stopped and pulled over to the sink. Bebe places a sponge in my hand, and pours hot pink soap onto it. "You're helping me with the goddamn house work if you're living here." She states, handing me a plate. I stare at her, shocked.

"What the fuck is this?" I demand. She stretches her face up to the plate, shaking off the suds of her nose.

"Well, I'm pretty sure it's a plate, hun-"

"No shit. Do you really think I can _clean_? Have you seen my _house_?" I question, attempting to scrub off the stiff lasanga. Bebe sees the useless attempt at washing, and grabs the plate and begans to wash it herself.

"Never mind. Why don't you go check on Emma? She probably needs her diaper changed." She says. I bite my lip, and she looks back. "Whats the holdup?"

"Well, I could wash dishes, I mean, if you-" I rub the back of my neck as she throws soap at me.

"No way in hell, hun." Damn.

I make my way up the stairs, and into another endless hallway. Not hearing cries, I walk into the first door I see, and am surprised by the pool table inches away from the door. Intriged, I continue in, and grab the triangle from a shelf and smack it down, filling it with the balls. They clatter over the table, and as I try to gather them back into the bunch, I hear a scream from the other side of the hallway.

"Ah, fuck!" I scream as a ball drops on my bare foot. I stumble out of the room, leaving the eight ball rolling down the steps after me. The water downstairs stops, and I hear a shout from the kitchen.

"Everything okay up there hun?"

"Just swell!" I pant, hopping to the room with Emma. I find her wailing in a crib in the far cornor of the room, underneathe a window shaded by rosey curtains with small bears. "What the hell?" I scoop Emma up, along with her blanket, and look around the dark room. Not able to see past the darkness, I pull the shade up, lighting the room with the afternoon sun. The walls are also pink, and tons of toys surround the small crib, a pearl color. When I turn around, I see Bebe in the doorway, holding a new bottle. "What is all of this?" I ask, stunned.

"I was just so exited to have a baby in the house, I guess I just kind of went...overboard." She squeaked. I sighed, and took the bottle, pressing it against her lips. She quickly took the nipple in her mouth and began to suck violently. "Well, I guess she was hungry." Thank fucking god it wasn't a diaper.

She carries Emma down the steps, and then motions for the bottle. I hold it up, and once again she continues sipping. Bebe's eye's light up, and she smiles. "Hey, are you gonna have kids?" She looks up at me, blushing.

"Oh, well, I don't know. I want to but Kyle...I mean...he is worried about me. He always is, and-" I cut her off.

"Bebe. So it's yes?" I confirm, smiling. She nods.

"Kyle would make a good dad. And I'm sorry if he doubts you, he's just...stressed." She explains. When she opens her mouth again, she stops when we hear the door swing open and hit the wall. I spin around, ripping the bottle from her mouth. Bebe clings to Emma like a life source, as she nervously steps towards the ajar door. "What the f-" She falls backwards and screams, hitting her head on the floor, dropping Emma. I fall to my knees, and help her up, as she wails towards the floor, along with the wails of the baby. I glare up at Craig, who rips off his devil mask.

"Holy shit, I'm s-"

"What the fuck were you thinking?" I spit, grabbing his trenchcoat and shoving him against the wall. He arches against the wood in pain. "Why can't you _knock_ like a fucking _normal_ person?" He glares, and flips me off.

"Because, pretty boy, I'm not normal." I shake my head, and drop him the inch to the floor. He goes inside and helps Bebe off the floor and takes the baby from her. "I'm sorry, okay?" She looks at him, her mascara running down her cheeks.

"It's fine, Craig." She says blankly. "Do you have his stuff?" He sighs.

"No, I just drove all the way to fucking Denver to scare the piss outta ya with a cheap mask," He smirks, throwing the mask to the side. I take Emma from him, worried he'll bite her head off. When she frowns, he continues. "Of course I brought the stuff. And to make up for scaring you," He looks around to make sure we're listening. "I got you a job, Kenny." I take the flyer from his hand, and examine it closley before bursting out in laughter.

"Hah! Yeah nice one, Craig.'' I laugh. He raises an eyebrow, and looks quite serious. "Oh god...Craig..." I plead.

"Well..." He starts. "I already got you applied. You're all set, and you start tonight." I felt my face flush, as I dropped the poster.

"Please tell me you're just fucking with my mind..." I beg. He shakes his head.

"It pays well. You can make over three hundred a night, seven on a good night." I sigh.

"Oh my god!" I pick up the flyer again, and read it over. "I'm gonna be a fucking gay ass striper." I hate Craig.

**A/N~ Sorry, this is kind of a filler chapter. Although the bright side is, I'm going to make this past ten chapters! Since there isn't any humor in this chapter, I'll make SURE that the one after this is. I REALLY appreciate reveiws, and PLEASE tell me what you want. If you want a charater to appear, tell me, since it'll be longer. Cartman WILL come in next few chapters, as will *hint*hint* Wendy. IT WON'T BE A CANDY PAIRING! If, by some weird force, that's what you were getting at...heehee...**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N~ Oh my god, I can not even begin to tell you how sorry I am! Its been a MONTH since I updated! I'm a horrible person! I'll try and make it up to you with a longer chapter...like...alot longer than the other ones. This chapter should probably be rated M, and now to think of it...I should probably change the rating. Just a heads up- this chapter has drugs, language, and stripping. Dosn't sound that bad but...it's not **_**clean**_** I guess. Enjoy!**

His laughter filled the house, bouncing from every corner, back to our ears. Finally he shut up, just to drop to the floor practically crying. Craig brought his hands up to wipe his face of the tears, before slapping them against his thighs and continuing. Bebe nervously bounced Emma in her lap, trying to mute her sobs. The hysterical cackling mixed with the cries of the baby, and I stood there, wanting to shoot every living being in the room. "Shut up! Just everybody, shut the fuck up!" I scream. All voices shut off, exempt for Emma's cries. Bebe pulls herself from the oak floor, and pulls my arms so Emma is sprawled on the make-shift bed, and she retreats to the kitchen. I prop her against my shoulder, and begin to cry. Craig gets off the floor and clears his throat.

"So, I was thinking," He begins, taking the baby from my arms, and rocks her in his own. I scowl, but allow it. "Since your under so much stress with the baby and your new job-"

"The job that _you_ got me." I interrupt. I swipe my hand against my cheek, pulling the tears from sight. Craig pulls a devious smile on his face before nodding.

"You're _welcome_, by the way." I roll my eyes, and sit against the door, the air still escaping from the cracks. "Anyway, I was thinking maybe I could take you out." I glance up at him, and raise an eyebrow.

"I'm not gay. How do you think I got that?" I groan, pointing to the baby in his arms. He lets out a nervous laugh, and looks down in his arms.

"I didn't actually mean take you out _on a date_. I just meant maybe we could, you know, go grab some grub, hire a hooker, _get high?" _He smiles at his words, flicking his eyebrows around. I sigh, and get off the floor, taking Emma back into my custody. "Huh?" I roll my eyes, and shoot him a sarcastic look.

"Well, it depends. Whacha got?" I say grinning. He reaches into his coat pocket and retrieves a handful of assorted bags, and does the same with every inch of his jacket. I stare down at his hands, mouth watering. "Holy fucking shit," I exclaim, taking one of the bags in my own hand.

"Damn strait. Got myself a new dealer, fucking bastard has bucket loads of the shit!" I take another bag of pot, replacing it with the one I just had. "Oh yeah, and there's _other_ things in the car too." He winks, reminding me just how feminine Craig can be at times. "You got needles?" I slap my forehead, and moan. "Apparently not."

"They were in the closet back at my place, unless you found the shit under the floorboards, than no.'' He sighs, and flops on the petite cushioned bench near the staircase. I take a seat beside him, and play with the blonde tuff atop Emma's head.

"Wait-" I watch as Craig rockets from his seat, and holds a finger up. "Bebe's in medical school, right?"

"Yeah, I think so, why?" His evil grin reappears, and his fingers twiddle together. It takes me a second to see what he's going at, and an identical smile crossed my own face.

"We have to find them dude," I stand up, and look around. "Where the fuck would she keep them?" I glare at him, and get closer so she can't possibly hear us.

"Dude, we can't just go steal all her needles, she'll know!" I hiss. He rolls his eyes, and motions with his finger to follow him. Not knowing why the hell I obey, I walk by his side in silence until we reach yet another endless hallway. "Wha-"

"Find the bathroom." He mumbles, tilting his head towards the doors. I glance over my shoulder to the kitchen, where Bebe is humming happily. "Stay fucking quiet or she'll catch us." I nod, and proceed to open the doors. I quickly turn the first knob I touch, and push the door open, seeing another spare bedroom. I try the next door, and there's another fucking bedroom. I look over at Craig, who's pulling the doors I opened back shut. I try for another door, sending a ear-bleeding screech down the hall. "Dude, fuck." Craig growls, motioning behind me. I turn, and without warning, Bebe grabs Emma from my grasp, and shoves a bottle in her mouth. She begins cooing to the now silent baby in her arms, gliding her fingers across her cheeks. Craig looks at me horrified, and struts to my side. We eye each other, waiting for her to perk up.

"The bathroom's at the end, to the left," She purrs, still smiling at the baby. Craig starts to question, and she looks up from her toy. "Hun, I could hear you." He turns pale, and clenches his fists.

"Aw fuck-"

"And plus, the smell is more than noticeable," Bebe huffs, pulling the two bags from his bulging pockets. He laughs nervously, rubbing the back of his head.

"Oops." He manages. She sighs, and peels the bag open only to take a long whiff. "Uh...Bebe? What are you doing?" Craig questions blankly. Bebe pulls the bag from her nose, and looks at us strangely.

"Nothing." She says quietly, handing me the bag. Bebe looks confused, turning to see our reactions. "I just...never mind." Craig looks more than relieved as Bebe turns back towards the kitchen. She turns the corner, and we just stand there. "The needles are in the cabinets under the sink!" She shouts. "And save some of that pot!"

"For what?" Craig asks. She hesitates, and then appears again.

"For me!" She squeaks back, looking mortified. We stare at her, until we realize she's dead serious. Craig can't help but burst into laughter, and I soon do the same. She glares, and returns to the kitchen.

"What the fuck!" I shout through laughs, forcing me to lean against the wall. "I...I can't-" My hysteria forces me to the floor, covering my face with my hands, trying to muffle the howls. Craig pulls me to the bathroom, trying to stay standing through his wails.

We enter the room, and lean against a towel rack, arms around our stomachs. "Alright, now," He says trying to compose himself. "Where are the damn needles?" One last giggle, and I make my way to the sink, ripping open the cabinets. I lean down, and hit my head on the marble countertop, sending Craig into another fit of laughter.

"Ow, fuck you." He pats me on the back, and reaches past me. I watch as he pulls out a tub of needles of all sizes. "Holy fuck." Craig laughs evilly, and pulls one out to examine. He twists the thin silver rod in his fingers, touching the tip with his finger.

"Sharp." He notes, throwing it back into the tub. "Sweet."

I hold onto the tub against my chest, as Craig goes into the kitchen to distract Bebe while I slip the tub in Craig's car. I stand against the door until I hear Bebe sigh, notably bored with whatever Craig was talking about. I pull the door open, and slip onto the porch, seeing the fresh snowfall from the previous night. Taking a lunge towards the steps, I'm caught by the shoulder, and spin around to see none other than Bebe. She's got Emma wrapped in a bundle in one arm, and her other arm is extended to me. "I never said you could _have_ any needles. More or less_ steal_ them," She huffs, reaching for the tub. I give it to her, defeated. Craig appears at the doorway, a cookie between his lips and two more in his palm.

"Craig, you fucking suck." I say, dropping my shoulders.

"I'm sorry dude, but her cookies are so fucking good!" He looks at Bebe, who gives him a smile, before turning back to me.

"I'll give you the needles, hun, if that's what you really want." Craig opens his mouth, letting cookie crumbs fall to his feet. I nod, and hold out my arms, but the tub is instantly pulled from me. "On one condition."

"Damn it." Craig mumbles. She smiles at him, and motions towards his jacket. He stares, completely confused. She glares, and pulls out two bags from his coat. "Dude, you can't be serious." He says through a mouthful of cookies. Bebe examines the contents, smelling each bag thoroughly. When she looks up, she bites her lip, coated in cherry red lipstick.

"I...I want the Jamaican Passion." I crack a smile, but she smashes my toe under her heel. "I'm serious." Craig takes the bags from her, and hands her a much smaller one. She licks her lips hungrily, and just as quickly, the pot is taken back. "N...No, give it back-"

"Why should I? _I bought _it." Craig says, crossing his arms. "You even said in the kitchen you wouldn't let us use the needles!" Bebe pouts her lips, and makes an annoyed sound.

"Well, I...I need them for school!" She demands, hugging the tub tighter to her chest. "And plus...it's not good to be shooting like that-"

"It's not much better to do pot, dude!" I shout, throwing my hands in the air. She glares, but softens her expression.

"Just...please, I _need_ that. I've been under so much stress with the wedding, and-" Bebe begins to shake, and closes her eyes. "_Please."_ Craig looks at her sympathetically, and places the pack back into her outstretched palms. She gasps, and closes her fingers around it quickly.

"You can have it," Craig says. "But only for ten needles." Her happiness turns into annoyance, as she rips the bucket from her arms.

"Just...just take it." I high five Craig, but I quickly turned back to Bebe, worried.

"Okay, I smoke that shit all the time, so I know I shouldn't be talking about how drugs are bad-" I say.

"M'kay?" Craig jokes, wrinkling his face. I roll my eyes.

"But dude, are you sure you're _okay_ to do that shit?" She shrugs.

"I'm sure Kyle will help me tackle it." She assures, turning towards the door. I stare at Craig bewildered when the door shuts, and squint.

"Since when does Kyle do _pot?" _I ask.

"Since he met her," He laughed, pointing towards the door. "I mean, these cookies taste like shit, but they're fucking amazing when you're high." I took a cookie from his hand and put it in my mouth, and made a face. "Yep. Kyle just _loves_ his pot."

We got in the car, now smelling brand new. He wrinkled his nose at the smell, which I found quite pleasant, and lit a cigarette. He offered me one, and I stuck it between my lips without hesitation. Craig clicked the lighter and held it under my nose, until the it lit. The smoke quickly rose to the ceiling, and when the smoke was the only scent available, he started the engine. "Nothing like a good smoke before going to the club," He mused, turning the radio on. "The _Strip Club_." I gape at him, trying to undo my seatbelt. "Oh come on, I'm sure it won't be _that _bad-"

"Okay, maybe I was high off of your fumes when I agreed to this fucked up shit, but I can't _strip!" _I hiss, panicked. He pats me on the shoulder.

"What's wrong? You've stripped in a few clubs, easy as that, right?" I laugh, and hit the dashboard.

"I've stripped for extremely hot _chicks_! Like, with _tits, not dicks!" _I spit. "I...I can't strip in a gay nightclub. I just can't."

"Kenny, trust me, it's not that bad. Just think of the money!" I slowly turn towards him, tilting my head.

"How do _you _know it won't be that bad?" I question suspiciously. He chuckles. "You've stripped?" Craig pulls his cigarette up to his lips, and exhales a cloud of smoke.

"Yep." He says casually. "Dude- I'm _gay._ _Obviously_ it's not that bad." I slap my forehead, and moan. "I mean, you've done guys, right?"

"Well, yeah...but not on purpose dude! I was either _extremely_ drunk or-" He rips the cigarette from my lips and slaps a bag of pot into my lap.

"Extremely high." He adds, handing me a credit receipt. I moan, and pour a good amount of the herb onto the wrapper, and roll it up. I sigh, as Craig lights it, and I take a breath. It goes down like fucking silk. "Good?" I ignore him, and continue sucking the green gold. He chuckles darkley, before reaching into the back and pulling a plastic bag into this lap. I keep my eyes closed, enjoying the delicious fumes, until he threw the bag onto my face.

"What the-" I pulled it off my face, to see him smiling devilishly, holding up a leather thong. "Fuck!" I howl, dropping the joint in my lap. "Fuck..."

"And better yet, it comes with a matching vest!" He practically squeals, holding up the thin piece of clothing. I drop my head into my lap, but he's still looking through the contents. "But who could go stripping without a pair of cowboy boots?" Craig sighs, pulling out two shiny leather boots, with festive western designs. I can't help but shrug, because honestly, those are nicer shoes than I've ever owned. I take the thong, hung over a miniature hanger, and wiggle from my jeans. Craig looks out the window when I shoot him a glare, and I remove my boxers, leaving me half naked. I sigh, and pull the leather over my legs, pulling until they're up. Craig looks back, smiling. I continue to glare, until he shakes his head. "Now the shirt." He instructs. I pull it over my head, and take the vest he hands me. He nods, and I slip it on. Its tight, but what was I expecting. I already had a goddamn string up my ass. I slide the boots on, and sit up strait. "You look...hot, McCormick." He whispers, looking over my body.

"Jee...thanks, Craig, that means a lot. I had always wanted to dress up as a slutty cowboy and strips for a bunch of horney guys in a nightclub, and now my dreams are coming true." I wave my hands sarcastically, as he laughs. "Now what?"

"You still need accessories..." He proposes, handing me a smaller bag. I untie the handles, and pull out a fake gun, and a very real whip. "And you're gonna use 'em." I tilt my head.

"So, am I supposed to like...whip someone?" He shakes his head, and begins to roll another joint.

"They're for show. Use them...er..._sexually_ to get well...tips." He says, handing me another roll. I bring it to my mouth and inhale, just as the car slips into a parking lot. Craig parks the car, and turns to me. "You'll do fine. Just...when someone asks for a lap dance, pretend it's Bebe." I cough, blinking smoke away.

"W-what? I don't-" I stutter, trying to get him to stop laughing. He slams a hand on my thigh.

"Sure pal, sure."

I get back into my clothes, and make my way from the car now fully dressed, exempt for the cowboy boots. As we approach the doors, the music screeching around the building, I receive a few whistles. I bring my head down, and keep walking with Craig at my side. He nudges my shoulder as they shout at us, but I pull from his arm and enter the building.

Its humid, and smells strongly of liquor. There are more women in the building than I had expected, and slowly began to check them out. I couldn't peel my eyes from their boobs, because they were seriously, fucking huge. Craig appeared beside me again, and took my arm. "Jesus Christ...their tits..." I piped, my mouth hanging open. He laughed, and brought his lips up to my ear. For a second I thought he would kiss my fucking ear, but he didn't.

"You like their tits?" He asked. I nodded, almost in a trance. "Well, that's interesting. I thought you said you were strait." I looked at him puzzled, raising an eyebrow. "They're not real boobs, dude," Craig stated, pointing to a girl with an abnormally large rack.

"Well, obviously the aren't real." I said.

"I mean, those aren't _actually_ girls...they're drag-queens." I clenched my teeth, and swallowed the sudden urge to vomit.

"I...I knew that." He sighed, and pulled me through the crowd.

We approached a stage, currently empty, with a large pole in the center. He pulled me towards the back, where a door swung open, and he pushed me inside. I turned back at him, not sure what to do. Craig began to close the door, but I stopped it. "Dude...don't leave me." I begged.

"I'm not leaving, I'm just gonna go jack off in the bathroom." He said, closing the door. I pushed it back open, and he sighed. "Oh don't flatter yourself." I shrugged.

"Well?" I urged. He just stood there, not moving.

"Well what?"

"What the fucking hell am I supposed to do?"

"Go change, and work that poor ass of yours off on stage. They'll tell you what to do, dude, I'll come watch in a bit, just-" He bit his lip. "Dude..."

"Yeah yeah go do your thing." I waved him off, and watched as he practically sprinted to the bathroom. The door shut, and I walked backstage, where there were guys. Lot's and lots of naked guys. I walked aimlessly around in the cologne filled room, until I felt a hand on my shoulder. "Uh-" I spun around, and was forced to look up to see the mans face, thin and tan. He had dark brown hair that hung just below his ears, and if I hadn't been a pervert I wouldn't have seen his eight pack.

"Can I help you with something?" He asked, concerned. "This is for the dancers only, sorry." He began to lead me out the door, when I stopped.

"I'm uh...actually new?" The man let a genuine smile creep onto his face, and he nodded. "I just...don't know what to do." I explained, trying to keep my eyes focused on his face, and not on his exposed lower half.

"Oh, Ken, right?" I looked at him blankly.

"Yes. _Ken_." I spat, looking at my cowboy boots.

"Kenny," He said, dragging me back backstage. "That actually could work better than Ken."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Well, think of it like this- if you go to a club and there's a hot chick taking her clothes off, you ask her name and she says Agitha, your not likely wanting a lap dance from her, right? But if you ask her name and she says Ashley, you might want one." He explains, sitting me on a stool.

"Wait...you're strait?" I question, puzzled. He laughs, and nods.

"Most of the dancers are, really. Did they tell you that this job pays _amazing_ shit?" He muses, pointing to my chest. "But, you won't get tips if you go out there like that. Now strip." I obey, and rid myself of my clothes, all exempt the vest and thong. "Damn." I glare. He looks over my body, now covered in a sheet of sweat from the temperature. When he looks at me again, he smiles. "You'll do fine."

"So how do I get money?" I say, picking up a cowboy hat and placing it promptly on my head. "Like...good money."

"Use the pole." He beams, winking. "Dance, and give them something to pay you for." I feel a hand around my waist, and turn to see Craig, holding out a bag to me.

"Forgot your props, pretty boy." Craig kisses me on the cheek. I glare, so he kisses me again. "Loosen up dude, you'll do fine." A few of the guys behind us snicker at his joke, but he continues in a harsh whisper. "Dirty talk them, tell them how bad you are. Make them come, that'll set you up for life." He finishes, and slaps my ass before returning to the growing crowd.

"Fag!" I yell after him, and he simply flips me off.

The music begins to get louder, and the lights dim. An announcer comes over the speaker, his voice low and rusty. _"Ladies...and mainly gentlemen,_ _you're in for a treat tonight. We've brought you yet another handsome devil to steal the spotlight, and make you scream-"_ The man from earlier directs me to the curtain by my shoulders, and held me in place so I couldn't run.

"Remember kid- use the pole." I nod.

_"He's new, so make him feel special. Please welcome..." _I feel myself thrown through the curtains, and I stumble onto the center of the stage, grabbing the pole for dear life.

"I think I'm gonna be sick-" I mumble.

"_The one, the only- Keeeeeennnnny!" _I force myself to stand up strait, using the pole for balance. The spotlight hits me, as the strobe lights began to blink. The crowd begins to scream wildly, throwing thier fists into the air. Cash begins to fly, and the music gets louder. I walk forward, until I'm about to fall off the edge, and buck my hips, earning me a couple of ones. I spin around and crouch, swirling my body around, getting a few more dollars. The cheers are overwhelming, as is the need to earn what I saw in one man's hand. A few more ones were thrown onto the floor, and I bucked my hips again, and made my way to the pole. As I took the metal in my hands, I glanced around the room and saw Craig in the crowd, getting a lap dance from one of the strippers. I took a breath, and hoisted myself from the ground, spinning my body around the pole. Fives were now hitting the stage, so I again leapt from the ground and twirled around until I stopped, and returned to the tip of the stage. I watched as a man held out a ten, waving it in the air, as he and several others chanted "Strip! Strip! Strip!"

I took off my hat, and threw it into the crowd, where it was fought over. I poked my thumbs underneath my vest, bringing it over my shoulders. I started swirling my hips around until the song was already half way over. When the first twenty hit the floor, I tore the jacket from my back and spun it above my head, causing money to fly like crazy. I gave one last thrust, and strut back to the pole.

The only clothing I had on was the cowboy boots, and my leather thong which had made its way into very uncomfortable places.

I once again held the pole in my hands, and swung myself so I was far enough up the pole so I could spin upside down, and wrap my legs around the pole as I slowly slid down. The hundred dollar bill I had my eye on waved around in the crowd, still not able to see the owner. I slid to the floor with the pole still in my hand, and spun back up so I was standing again. A few fifties flew my way, so I began grinding against the metal. People were whistling, including Craig, who had made his way over to the stage. He mouthed something to me, and I got it, pulling the whip from its spot on the thong's string. _Dirty talk. _Walking to the center, I cracked the whip in the air. "Yee-Haw!" I yell, sounding like a complete idiot. Apparently it works, and the bills begin piling up. I crack it again. More yells. "Who wants to ride my _horse_?" I seethe, pulling out the gun, and yanking down the trigger, sending imaginary bullets into the crowd. I watch as the hundred dollar makes its way closer to the stage, and crack the whip once more before dropping it in shock. I watch as Bebe throws the bill onto the stage and winks, making her way to Craig. "Yee-haw!" And as more invisible bullets rain into the audience, the song comes to an end, and I blow clear smoke off the toy. The light fades, and I'm left in the darkness, surrounded by screaming cheers.

_"And there you have it folks! Kenny, the newest addition to the team!" _I take a bow, not sure what else to do, grab my vest, and retreat behind the curtain.

I'm greeted by hands patting me on the back, and than I see the man from earlier. He approaches me, and gives me a slap on the arm. "That was amazing, kid. You're a natural!" He yells, patting me on the back. "Nice job." I smile, and go to pull on my jeans, keeping the vest on.

I open the door and step back into the club, and am greeted by a _very_ high Craig, who wraps his arms around me, pulling me against his erection. "Kenny my _man_! You were just like...wow. I mean, _god_ that's was just like...super!" He squealed, pulling me tighter. I watched as Bebe approached us from over Craig's shoulder, in a short red dress and black stilettos. Her hair was down, and her lips were bright red.

"I came to see how you did, but you just started dancing so...I stayed." She smirked, but I pulled away from Craig worried. Bebe noticed, and put a calming hand on my shoulder. "Kyle's with the baby, Hun." I sighed, and brought her into my own arms. She pressed her face in the crook of my neck, and slid her hand down my back. "You really did you great, Hun. Really." We were knocked apart by a delirious Craig who was chasing a flying rabbit. She started to laugh at this, and I joined her, as we watched him shout to the ceiling. Bebe took my hand, and gave it a little pat. "Just don't...don't tell Kyle. He thinks I'm at the store." I raised my eyebrow.

"So after you gave us needles, you stole our pot, and than lied to your fiancée about going to a gay strip club?" She smiled nervously. I chuckled, and slid my arm around her bare shoulders. "You _so _owe me." I joked, tugging one of her curls with my teeth. Bebe leaned up and kissed my cheek.

"I know." She said smiling, before turning back to the stage, now dark again. The microphone cracked, and the announcer came on again.

_"You've all tried to tame this feral  
beast, and he's back for another round! Please welcome..." _The music began to blast, and I watched as another shadowy figure made his way to the pole. _"Leeeeoo!" _

_"_Leo? Like a lion or something?" Bebe asked. I shrugged, as the strobe lights began to flicker of the man. He was dressed in a tuxedo vest, bowtie, fancy cuffs and a matching black thong. Just as he slid around the pole, the spotlight hit him, and I almost fainted. The familiar blonde gripped the pole, throwing his body around like a toy. I turned to Bebe, who watched in silence, her mouth ajar. I moved from her arms, pushing through the crowd, making my way to the stage.

I couldn't help but stare in astonishment as he showed off his petite body to the crowd, moving his hips to the music. I was sure, without a doubt, that I was staring at Leo. Leopold Butters Stotch.

******A/N~ Oh god this is so long! Ok, so can I just say that I couldn't write Kenny stripping with a serious face, because, seriously. And for Marcus Absent, I brought Butters into the story the only way I could in this chapter. Hah! Butters as a stripper...yeah. So I've had a few people message me if Kenny and Bebe have something going on. I guess I just made Bebe really flirty, but having her be into Kenny gives me ideas for other chapters, so for now, I can say that theres **_**something **_**between them. I'll have another chapter by Wednesday, PLEASE review! It makes me so happy! Hope you liked it!**


	7. Chapter 7

I grabbed Bebe by the wrist and pulled her to the doors that led us backstage, Craig trailing with two men on either side of him. Heaving the door open, I shoved her inside more harshly than I meant to, spinning around to see Craig attacking his prey's lips with full force. The slightly smaller of the two was sliding his hands across the tight of Craig's pants, pecking along his neck. I sighed in disgust, and slammed the door shut. Trying to convince myself it was only the pot making him delirious was hard, considering he got a boner from the sight of an unclean cowboy.

Bebe glanced around frantically, arms wrapped in front of her chest. I slid a calming hand on her shoulder making her jump back, into a man nearly twice her size in both height and size. She squeaked in horror when she found the absence of any clothing, snapping her eyes shut. "What's a cute girl like yourself doing in a _dirty _place like this?" He asked slyly, bringing his hands to her hips. Bebe froze, her voice seemingly stuck. I wrinkled my nose, and pulled her away from her capture. "Hey where you going sweet face? I thought you came to give daddy a good time-"

"Shut up! She's married, dipshit." I spat coldly, shooting him a look. A grin begun creeping across his face.

"You're a feisty little prick, aren't you?" He hissed, licking his lips coated in a heavy lip gloss. The man took one of her curls in his hand, playing with it sweetly. "Even more fun with three."

"I said shut up-" I scowled, bringing my fist across his jaw. He lapped up the thin line of blood spilling from his lip, and chuckled, amused.

"Thank's sweetie," Bebe said, taking my hand in hers. "Asshole had it coming."

"Oh you mother fucker!" He lunged for her, who I instinctively pulled to my chest, but was held back by three other men about his same stature.

"Jesus Christ Mike calm down!" The blonde guy huffed, yanking at one of his arms. "Save it for later, my god." I turned to look at Bebe's horrified expression, but her eyes were on the curtains. I traced her gaze, until I felt a hand around my waist.

"The song's over." She said nervously, rubbing the small of my back. "Was...was that really...?" I nodded, just as the velvet curtains pulled back to reveal the now close to nude Butters, a rose clenched between his teeth. He coughed at the sudden cloud of cologne, dropping the flower to his feet. Not bothering to pick it up, he kicked it to the side and plopped down on a stool, pulling off his black bow tie. Bebe watched intrigued as he removed the remaining spectacles of clothing, carefully placing each item on the table in front of him. I tugged my hand away from her death grip, starting towards him. Her fingers once again caught mine, and pulled me back to face her dark ember eyes. "Are you _sure _that's him? Not just someone who happens to have his features?" Bebe questions sharply. I tug her shoulders so she's closer to the boy, combing his hair, now grown just past his ears. Even I have to admit, he _does_ look handsome.

"There will never _be _another Butters, Bebe. Trust me," I assure, hearing the familiar 'Lu Lu' song being muttered under his breath. "It's him." With a quick nod, she takes a hard grip on my hand and follows in silence as we walk to his station. Making our way around the mirror, away from his gaze, we perch in the corner of the stage, hidden by the frivolous costumes.

"What are we supposed to _do?_ To _say?" _Bebe whispers harshly, sending her nails into my palm.

"I...I don't know." I roll truthfully. She sighs, pulling a pink feather from her hair. "That."

"W-What? Did I do something?" She tilts her head, confused. "And this-" I hand her a baseball cap, plain as day.

"Do you now how dreadfully that will clash with these stilettos?" Bebe gasps mortified. "And not to mention this off blue with the red-"

"You look great no matter what you're in-" I coo, tugging her around by the hair so I can place it in a sloppy bun. "Now put that on." She smiles, still overly happy from the compliment, and pulls the cap over the mess of hair near her neck.

"Do I pass as a dude?" She asks, striking a weird pose.

"No, you pass as a drag queen." I say flatly. Bebe giggles, although I'm not sure why. I pull on another cowboy hat, and motion for her to follow me. She does, and takes my hand. "Jeez, your clingy."

"I just don't like being around so many _naked _guys, it really isn't what _should _be on my mind when I go home." She mumbles, giving me hand a slight squeeze.

"What _is_ on your mind, than?" I joke. She stops dead in her tracks, eyes wide.

"Butters," Bebe yelps. I laugh nervously, rubbing the back of my neck.

"You fantasize about _Butters?_ There's something that'll get Kyle in bed-"

"No, Butters is-"

"F-Fella's?" I spin to see Butter's only inches away from us, black thong in hand. It instantly drops from his grasp, as he struggles to find words. "W-w-what're you doing h-here?" He stutters, grinding his knuckles together. At this point Bebe had already discarded her disguise, and I slowly took the hat from atop my head.

"I guess we could ask you the same, Butter's." Bebe mutters, bringing a steady glare upon him. "Why are you dancing at a _strip _club?" His face turns rosy. She tightens her grip on my hand, which is starting to get quite uncomfortable. I loosen my fingers, which catches Butter's eye.

"O-oh! Are you and Kenny together? Well thats just swell-" He remarks with a slight grin.

"Don't change the subject." Bebe barks. "And I'm actually getting married, but that's off the subject"

"That's wonderful! Who-" He cuts himself off when Bebe holds up an angry finger, demanding his silence.

"Kyle. Kyle Broflowski. Now tell us why the fu-"

"Oh I just knew it! I knew you two would end up together, you were such a cute couple in highschool"

"Butters seriously shut the fuck up before I smash your fucking teeth in!" Bebe roars. He cowers over in silence, bringing his nails up to his teeth where he proceeds to bite them to the nub. "Hun, I'm sorry. But...why are you in a strip club?"

"Why are _you _in a strip club?" He retorts, glaring. "With _Kenny_." She stares at him, baffled.

"Well, I...I just..."

"She came to watch me," I cut in. Butter's stares at me in shock, followed by a horrified Bebe. "I...I mean to show moral support. Not like...to _watch _me. It was my first night." Their expressions don't change. "Oh come on, guys. This isn't getting any easier." I groan hopelessly.

"You work here?" Butters croaks. "Like..._strip?" _I roll my eyes.

"No, I got a job chasing the flying monkeys out of the bar where gay unicorns serve rainbow vodka." I say sarcastically. He still looks confused, so I wave him off. "Yeah I'm stripping. Any other questions?"

"Yeah I have a question; where the fucking _fuck_ did you put the fucking pot!" We turn to see Craig, overly drunk and still extremely high, shirt who knows where, and a short redhead licking at his bare neck. "I need a _smoke." _

_"_We _all _need a smoke, but you have the fucking keys to the fucking car that were in your fucking SHIRT!" I scream, shoving him against the wall. He takes a swig from his beer, half empty, and shakes his head

"What shirt?" He says cluelessly, swaying from side to side. I look at his bare chest, and back up to him.

"Dude...the fucking shirt you were wearing ten minutes ago." I sigh, pinching the bridge of my nose. He pouts his lips, and looks down. Craig's eyes widen to an extent I didn't know possible, and he begins to laugh hysterically.

"Wait...wha? Hah! Where...where did it go? Where'd you go little buddy?" Craig giggled, poking at random places on his chest. "Where'd ya go-"

"Craig-"

"Hey shirt, where are you? Shirt?" He twists to get a better view of his naked top half, scratching his chin. I keep my head in my hand.

"Craig-"

"Little buddy, don't hide! I won't hurt you! Come out little shirty shirt-"

"Oh my god...CRAIG!" I shout, throwing my hands in the air. He continues ignoring me, looking for his shirt on his _clearly_ shirtless torso. Bebe sighs, and bends down to unclasp her shoe. "What are you-" She pulls a small joint from a compartment underneath the heel, and examines it closely.

"Oh _Craig_," She sings, holding out the joint. "You wanna get high?" Her words drip into his mind, and his eyes twitch in her direction.

"...Pot?" He questions, holding out his hands.

"Pot." Bebe assures, putting the roll in his palms. Craig brings it up to his nose, inhaling deeply, before bringing it to his lips. He takes an invisible drag, since it hasn't been lighten, but enjoys it just as much.

"Hey! You can't smoke that in here!" I hear someone yell from behind us. "Take it outside!"

"Ey fuck off asshole!" Craig groans, taking another breath. "We were just leaving."

"Hun wait, Kenny still has to finish his...dances." Bebe reaches for him, but the man who now had a tight hold on his arm swats her away.

"Don't touch Meg," He protests, pulling Craig closer. Bebe raises an eyebrow, and smiles, knowing how drunk he really is.

"Sweetie, his name is _Craig, _and he needs to come with us now." She said calmly, taking Craig's free arm. The redhead gives up almost instantly, falling into the door, which swung open upon impact.

"Bye Meg!" He shouts to loudly, bringing the door closed with him.

"Bye fag!" Craig spits, turning to Bebe and collapsing in her arms. "He's such a _fag_ I mean..._god._ I eat fags like him for breakfast" His head rolls onto her breast, and she struggles to keep his limp body off the ground.

"God dammit Craig," She moans, setting him on the floor. Butters runs over to his unconscious figure, his hands fumbling over the body trying to find something to help with. "Take his legs." With a grunt, he picks up his legs, and Bebe easily lifts his front half. His head once again falls against her rack with a happy sigh. "I fucking hate him so much." She mumbles. I run towards the door and push it open, and they shuffle the limp body through the doorway. They only stop moving through the starring crowd when a thought hits me, and I reach below the platform and slap Craig's ass. I continue groping it through the heated stares until I find a loose object in one of his pockets and retrieve it.

"The keys." I state, holding them in front of a suspicious Butters. "I was getting the _keys._"

They heave Craig in the backseat, now full of dull cigarette buds, and look at me for further instruction.

"Wanna go get high?" I question hopefully, cracking a a nervous grin. Bebe glares, but sighs.

"Eh, why the hell not." She looks across the hood of the rim at Butters, who's tracing the remaining nail on his fingers. "Butters?" His head snaps up.

"Y-yeah?" He stammers, not quite sure of the situation.

"Wanna get high? Then maybe tell us why you're working at a strip club, so It'll make more sense." She says, rolling her head to the side. "How bout it _Leo_?"

"Oh jee that's sure nice of you to offer, but I just finished up work and-" Bebe cuts him off by wrapping one of her arms around his frozen shoulders, pulling him towards the car.

"That's great, then you'll have more time to come hang out with us!" Bebe squeals, shoving him into the drivers seat. "But you have to drive." Butter's opens his mouth to question, so I simply stick a discarded cigarette between his lips.

"Because I'm high, Bebe's drunk, and Craig is unconscious." I huff, handing him the keys. "Now drive, dancer boy." He mumbles something in protest, but I ignore it and open the back door, and flop down on Craig's body. He grunts, but doesn't seem to care. The car roars to life, and we slowly pull from the strip club.

"So," Butters said awkwardly, driving in no particular direction. "Where uh...where do you fella's wanna go to?" I shrug, picking up a cigarette box from the floor of the car, jamming my fingers into it.

"Somewhere dark." Bebe instructs, pulling her hair into a tight bun, few strands falling over her perfect cheekbones. "With no people." I pluck a stick from the container, and fumble blindly for my lighter.

"Bebe when did you become so damn creepy?" I joke, bringing the flame to the tip. "And so into pot?" She laughs dryly, and sighs.

"Since I found out I was pregnant." Butters slams on the brakes, sending my cigarette flying. I practically choke on the smoke in a fit of coughing, trying to sit up straight.

"Wait- _what?"_ I demand, spinning to face her. She's looking down at her hands blankly, not moving. "Bebe-"

"Oh my sweet baby Jesus, holy father and mother, you're _pregnant?"_ Butter's yelps, waving his hands in the air. "Oh jee, well that's just swell-"

"It's not _swell_ Butters!" I snap. Turning to Bebe, I open my mouth to talk, but am interrupted by a quiet sob. "You...you're pregnant?" I ask, becoming sick to my stomach eyeing the beer in her hands. She gulps, and begins to shake her head.

"I _was_ pregnant. I'm...I'm not. Not anymore," Bebe murmurs, just as tears began to fall into her lap. "I mean...I can't be. I...I've done everything-" She chokes on her words, crying into her hands now covering her face.

"Oh-oh my," Butters gasps, reaching for the beer in her hand. "You...you shouldn't be-"

"I might as well! I can't have a kid! Not...not now." She moans, wiping her nose only to take another gulp. "It's just...too much. With the wedding, my job, and Kyle-"

"You have to tell Kyle." I say suddenly. "Like...now." Her eyes widen, and breaks into another fit of sobs.

"I-I can't tell him! There's...there's nothing to tell him. I got...got rid of it-" Bebe swipes the stick from my hand, lighting it aflame. When its brought to her lips, a petite hand swaps it away.

"Y-you can't do that to your baby, B-Bebe! Don't hurt it-" Butter's chokes out, flicking the cigarette out the window.

"All this time," I interrupt, mainly talking to myself. It catched her ear though, so she turns. When I meet her icy stare, her eyes drop back to her lap. "All this time you _knew,_ and you _still_ did it." I growl, leaning forward. "Why would you do that?" Bebe once more lets tears streak her cheeks a chalky pink, as she opens the door and falls from the car. "Shit-" I pull open my own door, and jump off Craig who grunts in annoyance.

She lays on the road, abandoned from any other cars but our own, crying into her fists. I look at her, overcome with sadness, and lean down. She doesn't care of my presence, and continues sobbing hysterically. Without another thought, I sweep her off the dirt traced asphalt and carry her bridal style to the sidewalk. There is no resistence, and within seconds she goes limp in my arms. I sigh, as she brings her gaze up to mine. She examines my face quickly, before burying her face against the leather covering my chest. "You look angry." Bebe confirms, sniffing.

"I'm not angry," I assure, bringing her body closer. "I'm just surprised that _you, _a _doctor,_ could be so careless." She brings her head away from the fabric, once more to stare at my emotionless face.

"I was careless. And I'm sorry-"

"Well try telling that to Kyle." I hiss, turning towards the drugstore. Butters patiently rolls the car into the parking lot we're currently in and parks in the shadows of an elm tree.

"He doesn't want kids," She insisted. "He...he would hate having a baby-"

"Than why did he openly agree to take care of _my _daughter? _She's _a baby, and he took her in his arms without question, right?" I say, stepping onto the curb.

"He...he did..." Bebe begins to cry again, so I set her down, and hold her in my arms letting her cry against my shoulder. "I...I killed our baby," She shrieks. "I...I killed _his_ baby!" I pet her hair, and plant a kiss on her head.

"We don't know, you could still be-" I clench my teeth. "_Pregnant_." I shudder at the word, but force a smile. "Stay here, okay?" I remove myself from the sidewalk, and take a step towards the store. I close my eyes as an expected hand grabs at my leg.

"Wait don't leave," Bebe begins to panic, grabbing locks of her hair. "Don't leave me!" She wails, holding out her arms. I turn back, and throw my head to the sky

"Goddamnit," I huff, picking her back up into my arms.

I push the glass door open, as a hollow bell echoes through the store. Its mostly empty, exempt for a few drunk teenagers into the back shouting wildly. I move towards the cashier, an older man wearing a blue Rite-Aid vest and reading glasses. When he sees us approaching, he instantly shoots from his stool with a look of concern spread across his face.

"Oh my god, is she okay?" He asks loudly, pointing to the girl crying silently in my arms.

"She's fine," I say, leaning her against the edge of the counter. "Just really drunk." He raises an eyebrow, getting a better view of what I'm wearing. I ignore his suspicious mutters, and force Bebe to sit upright on the counter. The old man glares, but it distracted when one of the boys in the back knocks down a stand. "Where's your _purse_?" I ask horrified, noticing the loss of a black bag draped around her arm.

"What purse?" She says cluelessly through a sniffle.

"The purse you had...ten minutes ago." I pinch the bridge of my nose. "Fuck, I know your pissed at me, okay, I get that. But _please_ don't turn into Craig." She wipes her eyes, and hands me her stiletto. "Huh-" With a flick at the heel, it swings out, revealing two joints and a wad of cash. "Oh." Is all I say, before removing the money and bending down to put her shoe back on.

"Uhm, sir?" The man asks timidly, tapping on the counter. "Can I _help_ you with something?" I slap my forehead, and hand him a five.

"Yeah, uh sorry. I'm kinda outta it," I shake my head, as Bebe glances at me nervously. She mouths something, and I ignore her request. _Don't make me do this._

"So...what did you need?" I look back at the man, now glaring.

"I...give me a pregnancy test." I say, handing him another bill. "Two, actually." Bebe breaks into more quiet sobs, as the man grabs the small boxes from behind the counter. He slides them over slowly, and I grab for them, but they don't budge from his grasp.

"You said she was...drunk, right?" I stare at him blankly, before snatching them up.

"Keep the change," I mutter, hoisting Bebe higher on my chest. I walk aimlessly down the isles of cheap make-up and soap, not even glancing at anything. Finally, the bathroom sigh comes into view, and I practically sprint to it, just as another shelf is tipped. I set her down, keeping my hands around her waist making sure she doesn't fall, and hand her the packages. She shakes her head, pushing the boxes back. Bebe starts to shake, just about to cry again. I sigh, pressing my lips against hers, not knowing how else to make her shut up. I feel her breath escape in tiny sobs, filling my mouth with her tainted saliva. I pull away to see her once again in tears. Slowly realizing what I had just done, I take a step back, as she dashes into the bathroom. "Shit."

After waiting more than ten minutes outside of the bathroom, I left the store and jogged to the car, now filled with smoke. I swung the door open, releasing a cloud of the intoxicating gas. Butters head popped out, a joint between his lips, pressed into a drunken smile. "H-Hey there, Kenny." He said weakly, coughing. Craig, now somewhat conscious, pushed down on the petite blonde's shoulders revealing his overly happy expression.

"Welcome back, McCormick! Come join the party," He yelled, handing my a bag of pot. "Hey...hey wheres that blonde chick who smells like roses?" I climbed in the back of the car, slamming the door behind me.

"You are so fucking high, dude," I said, waving away some of the smoke. "Give me some before I kick your ass." He chuckled lightly, rolling the green into a wrapper and placing it in my mouth. Craig reached for his head, patting at the ruffled mess of black hair.

"Where's the lighter?" He questioned, stroking the top of his head. Butters giggled, and placed the lighter on top of Craig's head. His fingers crossed it, and curled around the device. "See, I knew it was on my head. I told you Leo-" Craig poked Butters in the stomach, causing him to roll over into inevitable laughter. There was a click, and a flame appeared in the white mist, inching closer to my face. I held the roll above the flickering light until it caught fire. Blowing it out like a birthday candle, I turned to Butters who was still giggling. I smirked, and lazily took a drag. It was great.

We sat in the backseat of the car, breathing in the delicious fumes which we eagerly sucked down. The time ticked by, and Bebe never came back. Not that we were counting the time, because we were.

Craig had turned the car back on for the soul purpose of waiting for the clock to change, finding it hilarious. I have to admit, with each drag I took, it became strangely funnier to me, too. He eventually was forced to blink, the gasses burning his eyes, and when he missed the transition of the minute, burst into sobs. Butters found this more amusing than the time itself, and rolled to the floor in a fit of laughter.

When we ran out of pot, we just sat there unmoving, talking about the future. To be honest, we sounded like a bunch of hippies, but we were to high to care.

"So Leo," Craig began, sucking at the air like a vacuum. "Why _were_ you at the strip club?"

"I was stripping...because it makes me feel...like I matter," He huffs, eyes wide. "I think...when I strip...people like me more." Even though I know he's high, and had no idea what he's saying, it forces a bit of guilt into my jumbled brain. I wrap my arms around his small waste, leaning my head on his shoulder. Though I'm probably a lot more messed up right now that either of them, I still feel bad.

"Dude..." I begin, watching as Craig wraps his arms around Butter's, copying me. "We...we love you man."

"Yeah," Craig pipes in, his voice soft and fluid. "I love you." He releases his grip only to fall onto Butter's lap, crashing their lips together. Once again, there is uncontrollable giggles coming from the both of them. With a grin, I lie back against the window, listening to the spitty collisions of their lips. They stay like that for awhile, Butter's on Craigs lap, their fingers weaving in and out of each others hair, lips locked. They love it, but of course, won't remember any of it. Just as I close my eyes, unaware of anything, theres a tap at the window. I ignore it, thinking I'm imagining the noise, but when I see Craig holding Butters close on full alert, I sit up. We wait in silence, not knowing who or what it is. Then something hits me, splitting my foggy daze in half.

"Oh shit," I gulp, swaying. "Bebe." They don't move from their positions, as I move towards the handle. "Bebe?" I shout out, my voice uneven and cracking. "Bebe is that-" I push the door open, and fall back into the Craig. As the smoke floods from the car, they fall apart, Butters sliding outside along with the white cloud. When I poke my head out, I see him laying on pair of legs. When the smoke clears, I trace the legs up to their owner. A police officer. The cop brings his flashlight to my eyes, the blinding light causing me to fall beside Butters. Just than, two other cruisers pull beside the other, lights flashing. Craig pulls himself from the car, and gets one glance at the scene, high or not, and sighs.

"Well fuck."

* * *

**A/N~ Hello luvies! **

**Another longer chapter, hope you liked it! If you did, please review! Reviews make me so happy! Anyway, I'm sorry everyone was so OOC, but thats mainly because they were either really drunk or high. The whole Bebe being pregnant thing was so random, just a thought that led to...this. I hope that answered WHY she had a sudden intrest in booze and drugs, trying to get rid of the baby without telling Kyle. Oh god, I just felt so horrible for her! Seriously...that was a very interesting chapter. Eh, well I have this whole thing planned out already, and it's gonna be 15 chapters. Yay! For you! Anyway, please review and tell me if theres anything special you want to happen. I don't like writing for an empty audience! Thanks for all the people reading, it means alot :) Hugs and kisses ~M**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N~ I fail miserably at updating, sorry. Uh...yeah I have no excuse. FAIL. I am shunning myself now. *sob* Please review luvies! Means so much! And since I despise updating(schools starting...more time to NOT do homework and type :3), I'm having a really short crappy contest next...yeah...I think next chapter. You shall find out what it be, loves, hint be~ BABY. Wow I suck at hints.**

**~Review and Enjoy! ...updates WILL come, _jeez_. **

I sat squished between Craig, who was lost in his own world, and Butters, who's laughter hadn't stopped until he received a sharp slap across the face from a very delusional Craig. My thoughts were jumbled, and my head was still lost in a world of wonders. I couldn't make out anything other than the bright flashes of color sinking through the windows, barred shut. Looking around, the space we were contained in was nothing but heavy metal strips enclosing the area, shadowing the faces of the two men past the shield of metal. Butter's kept poking his nose through the small holes in the wall, each time being told to sit back, of course not obeying. Craig was talking to himself, making idle conversation with his invisible friend, also ignoring the commands to be quiet. I also mumbled quietly to myself, but it was more of trying to convince my mind that we weren't going to jail, and that those weren't police officers. Of course, I'm always getting fucked up and screwed over, so we _were _off to jail, and those _were_ in fact, cops. Being slightly high helped, but not by much. We were still screwed, but at the time, no one knew it.

"I thought I told you to shut your mouth, kid." An officer snarled at Craig, who had now begun to sing to his imaginary friend. He grunted, shoving his hand against the dainty nose peeping through a hole. "And you! Quit doing that!" Butters giggled, and shook his head.

"Whats the magic _word, _coppy?" He slurred, grinning. So he did know they were cops. The officer glared.

"The magic words are _stop now, _or you'll be facing time for disrespecting an officer." He said, raising his voice. "You're already in pretty deep, so don't push your luck." Craig chuckled, earning a puzzled glare from the cop.

"Yeah, he is kinda a dick," Craig said softly, turning to the invisible figure.

"What did you say?" The cop hissed through clenched teeth. Craig nodded towards nothing, and turned his attention to who was speaking, raising an eyebrow.

"To you- nothing. My friend was just telling me what a fucking dick you're being, ya' know. Taking us to jail." He frowned.

"You just verbally assaulted an officer, you know that, right?" Craig once again turned to his imaginary friend, and nodded quickly.

"Yeah, yeah I did." Craig smirked, pulling on the handcuffs. The police officer just snarled, and looked away.

"H-Hey coppy," Butters questioned, banging his forehead against the bars. "C-can we not go to jail? I just...I don't wanna get raped, ya' see-"

"What? I don't wanna get fucking _raped! _Get me the fuck outta this car, goddamnit!" Craig hollered, flailing his legs.

"Hey kid stop kicking my seat!" The driving officer yelped, bringing his fist against the barrier.

"Than don't let them fucking rape us!" He practically screamed, thrashing into Butters, who had begun to freak out himself.

"N-no please they're gonna make us their bitches, a-a-and rape our brains out-" Butters cut himself off, falling into tears. "Don't let them rape me!"

"Alright, everybody sit down and shut up! If you can't do that _simple task, _than we're going to have to put you in restraints!" One cop yelled, pulling out a long white band.

"Fuck! They're gonna pin us down and _rape _us! Get me the fuck outta here!" Craig sobbed helplessly with Butters, leaning on his shoulder. "I'm too pretty to be ra-"

"That's it! Stop the fucking car!" The cruiser slammed to a stop, making all three of us fly forward, smashing into the thick bars. "All of you in restraints. Now." The doors all swung open, sending a cold night breeze through the car. Craig was the first to be shoved onto Butter's lap, as his feet were bound together with the plastic. He tried to bite the cops, but his door slammed in his face. They came around to my side, and motioned for me to get out. When I stumbled out, I could make out the blurry faces of both policemen. The one driving was a taller man, sleek black hair slicked back. The other much shorter, red hair rimming his head "You're awfully quiet," The redhead states, grabbing Butters by the chain of his handcuffs. "Unlike these two." A small whimper escapes Craig's throat as he falls to the floor of the car, followed by a yelp from Butters, now pinned to the ground, fighting the restraints.

"Hold still dammit!" The other officer comes around the cruiser and wraps the restraint around Butter's ankles, mumbling curses under his breath. "And you-" He says, looking up at me. "Get in the damn car." I do as told, and step back in only to have Butters dropped on my lap. I sigh, and close my eyes as the sirens blare.

The car pulls into the station's parking lot, and drives to a large building which I assume to be the jail, bigger than the one I had become so fond of. The bricks outside are old, moss growing in all the cracks. We stop with a jolt, and instantly three other officers approach the idling cruiser, pulling open the doors. Two of the police are women, who remove the straps over Craig's legs, moving towards Butters. One of the women comes to my door and puts a hand on my shoulder. "Out." She commands, tightening her grasp. I sigh and stand up, allowing her to unlock the handcuffs. I swing them freely, but freeze knowing they'll just be put back. Sure enough, I feel tight fingers curl around my wrist, closing the same cuff around it. She snaps the other cuff around her own wrist, giving it a sharp tug. "Follow me." She says robotically.

We walk quickly and silently, and I occasionally glance back at Craig who's being practically dragged by a man twice his size. Instantly my head is snapped in the other direction by a flick of her wrist, and I stumble forward, falling into a glass door. She growls, pushing the doors open and shoving me inside. Not caring that she could lock me in prison, I flip her off with my free hand, and am surprised to see the gesture returned. "Don't fuck with cops, kid." With that, we walk into a barred cell, and she tugs her hand upward to get my attention. Rolling her eyes, she unlocks the clasp, and tucks he handcuffs away in her belt. I rub my wrist, shooting a deadly glare her way. She just waves me off, and brings the door closed behind her, locking it.

It takes a couple minutes, but Craig is eventually pulled through the doors and shoved into an identical cell across from mine, and is shortly followed by three of the officers carrying in Butters, limp in their arms.

"Hey, hey you!" I motion towards one of the people hovering over the unmoving figure, and get the attention of a plump brunette. "What the fuck did you do to him?" I question, trying to reach past the bars far enough to touch Butters, but my hand is quickly swatted away by one of the cops. "Hey-"

"We sedated him." She says blankly, heaving the limp blonde into the stall with Craig. They all retreat from the holding cell, and disburse to their designated stations.

"Hey- Hey wait! Why the fuck do they get to be together?" My fingers unfurl from around the bar I had in my grasp, as my knuckles turn a normal color. "And what happened to a fucking phone call? What the fuck is wrong with Denver?" I moan, grabbing the attention of the woman who had locked me in here. "Hey, don't I get to fucking call someone?" She shrugs.

"Kid, you flipped off a cop. Your pretty screwed as it is, so I suggest shutting your mouth and waiting for further instruction." She hisses, turning back to her paperwork. "And besides, you've better know someone who's pretty damn rich to bail your ass outta jail. All three of you at that." Just my luck, I happen to be _living _with the fucking richest person in the world, who's not only a lawyer, but has a fiancée who's a doctor. Financee. Bebe. _Shit._

_"_Fuck! I need to fucking call someone, please let me use the phone, oh god..." I trail off, tugging on the solid bars. "Please oh fucking _shit _please just let me call-"

"Dude, fuck!" I hear Craig exclaim, rising to his feet and jumping to the bars. "Kenny, dude we left Bebe-"

"I fucking know that!" I seethe, pushing my face against the space between the metal. "Well great going _Craig, _nice job getting us sent to motherfucking _jail._"

"How the fuck is this my fault, Kenny?" Craig asks, pulling himself against the bars. "You were the one who brought that shit-"

"_You_ brought it dude! _You _bribed her with the goddamn pot that _you _came with!" I yell, jabbing an accusing finger at him. "This is all _your _fault!"

"Hey, quiet down!" We both spin to see an older man sitting at a desk, coffee mug in hand. "Stop screaming, my god-"

"I can't stop fucking screaming, I left my best friend's fiancée alone in a public bathroom at a fucking _Rite-Aid_ and got dragged off to fucking jail!" I roar, pounding on the metal. A look of worry crosses the mans face, as he approaches my holding cell.

"Here, son calm down-"

"I can't! God I'm so fucking screwed-"

"Just...here, what's her name? We can send someone there if she hasnt already left." He says calmly. I nod, weaving fingers through my ruffled hair.

"H-her name...oh god...B-Bebe Stephens...or...Broflowski...I-I think it's still Stephens." I stutter, wiping my eyes.

"You say her name is Bebe Stephens?" The man hands me a notepad and a pen, and I quickly scribble the name across it's length, slipping it back to him. "I can take this to the people who brought you in, they can go check." I nod slowly, glancing up at Craig, perched on the small bench in his cell with his face in his hands.

"T-thanks man," I sigh, easing my grip on the bar. He wrinkles his brow, and quickly retreats out of my sight.

"You're so goddamn lucky McCormick," I hear I dry voice say. "How the hell are you so fucking _lucky?"_ Craig looks up from his hands.

"Dude, I'm in _jail, _that's not really _lucky."_ I droll, sliding down to the floor. He copies me, and sits next to Butters.

"Well, how many times have you been to jail? Or at least, been _busted _for something?"

"Oh god...too many." I pinch the bridge of my nose. "Way to many."

"And how many times have you _actually _been sentenced?" He asks, tracing Butter's upper with his index finger.

"I...none." I say, surprised. "I guess they've always just let me go with a warning or something." Craig stops his movement, but keeps his gaze away from mine.

"You know how many times I've been busted? One. You know how many times I've been gotten away with just a warning?" He brings his eyes up to mine, tearing them away just as quickly. "None."

"So what happened that one time?" I ask, getting on my knees. "You know...were caught for shit." Craig sighs, and turns his full attention towards me, staring me with emotionless eyes.

"I was locked up. For two years. Two _fucking _years, Kenny," Craig croaked, wrapping his arms around his knees. "I would've gone to college with everybody, drinking and partying and all that shit. But I didn't, because I fucked up, that one time."

"What did you do?" I ask in almost a whisper. He chuckles, but there's no humour to it.

"I punched a cop. A fucking cop. Bitch deserved it though, I mean sure I regret it, but...he had it fucking coming to him. He called me a pot smoking queer, and he even kicked me. He had the fucking _nerve_ to kick me. Not because I was smoking shit, no, because I was gay." Craig explained, burying his face in his arms. "I missed my sister's graduation. I missed my aunts funeral. I missed a chunk of my life, and I can't get it back. So just..." He sniffed, and brought his face up. "Just...be there for your kid, dude. Don't miss out on her life because you've been fucking stupid." Craig tore his painful gaze from me and looked up at the man from before, scratching his balding head. Quickly I stood up, leaning towards the man.

"Is Bebe there? Is...is she okay?" I asked nervously. My heart sank to my stomach when he shook his head, turning towards me. "Oh god, is she hurt?" He shook his head faster, and cleared his throat.

"We called some of our officers at the store, but she wasn't there-"

"Fuck! What if..._fuck_ Kyle's gonna kill me-" The man held up a finger to silence me, slowly bringing it down to the piece of paper in his hand.

"So we called her residence, and a man named _Kyle _answered," My breath is at a loss, as I pale. "And he said that Ms. Stephens was indeed home and safe with him."

"Thank god." I huff, falling against the railing.

"So...whats the problem than?" Craig asks, confused. He tilts his head, bringing the paper to his side.

"Well, we spoke to Ms. Stephens and told them about how you were worried, but...as it turns out, she was the one who called to _report_ you three." He raises an eyebrow, eyeing me and Craig.

"Why the hell would she report us, dude?" Craig shrieks, pressing both palms to his face. I turn towards the stone wall, and lower myself to the bench, resting my cheek on my hand. Craig tears his fingers apart, and sees this. "Kenny, what did you do?"

"Hmm?" I mumble, keeping my eyes on my feet.

"No, don't do that. You were with her that whole time, so you had to do _something_ that would've pissed her off. Now what the hell did you do?" Craig insisted, shaking the bars. "Kenny what did you _do _to her-"

"I made her take a pregnancy test, Craig!" I hiss, glaring. He looked at me, terrified.

"_What? _Oh god Kenny, don't tell me you-"

"No dude, I didn't fuck her," The man clears his throat to make his presence known, but I just ignore it. "Kyle did." The look of terror returns to his face.

"Dude, she fucking drank _beer_ and smoked _pot!" _He shouts, biting his lip. "How did you know she was pregnant?" I glare.

"She told us, but you were out cold. That's were we were when you woke up."

"So you made her take a pregnancy test _why?" _He questions, raising a brow.

"Because she was only doing that shit to get _rid _of the baby, and when she insisted that it was gone, I...I don't know..." I mutter, once again shading my face. "I guess I just wanted her to see that it wasn't, but...all that fucked up shit shes been doing-"

"So your fatherly instincts kicked in and you were just trying to protect her?" Craig asks, crossing his arms.

"I...I guess." I mumble.

"You're a good dad. Even to her." I look at him, smiling. I try to grin back, but it just turns to a frown.

"That's...thats not what got her so pissed off." Craig's lips drop back to a line, and his eyes narrow. "I..I didn't mean to...I mean...I did, but I-"

"You kissed her." I stare at him, shocked. "You kissed her, right? Or did you like...steal her shoes?" I can tell he's joking but I nod. "You stole her shoes." He says dryly.

"No fucktard, I...I kissed her." His eyes widen, as a huge smile tugs on his lips.

"McCormick, you're _so _screwed, I can't even tell you." Craig laughs. "Looks like youre not the lucky one, boner-boy."

"At least I didn't make out with _Leo _in the backseat of the car." I smirk, watching his smile once again drop.

"I...I-I didn't..." He slaps his forehead and moans. The officer looks at us both, before clamping his hands together.

"Well, since all that's out of the way, which one of you is the most sober?" Craig instantly points to me, and I toss my hands up in defense.

"Hey you don't know shit!" I grin, and watch as the door to my holding cell swings open. "W-what-"

"C'mon. You get a call, you know." He says, leading me down the hall of cells.

We come to a small room, and I am escorted to a far corner where a payphone is hanging. The man hands me a quarter, and I eagerly push it in the slot. It clinks, so I pick up the phone. As I reach for the phonebook, a piece of paper floats on top of the book. I pick it up, and stare at the number before turning to the man nodding.

"Broflowski Stephens residence." He assures, motioning towards the phone. I take a breath, glancing back at the scribbled numbers, hesitating on calling. Slowly, my fingers press down on the numbers, and I punch the send button, hearing a click. It rings, and almost instantly someone answers, as I sigh in relief.

"Hello?" Kyle says bored, waiting for a reply.

"K-Kyle! Thank God, it's Kenny." I hear his breathing come to a halt. I begin to panic at the loss of a voice, and begin to tap my foot. "Kyle-"

"Yeah, yeah dude. I'm here, uhm...where are you? I've been worried, and E-Emma, I can't...you need to come home." Kyle manages before I hear the shriek of a baby in the background. "Shit,"

"Kyle?" I ask, hearing him scramble around.

"Yeah sorry, where...can you please come home, your kid is freaking on me, and Bebe won't help and he's asleep and-"

"Who's 'he'?" I ask.

"J-Just-"

"Kyle, I need you to come and get me." I say, crossing my fingers. Theres a short silence, but his voice cracks back on the line.

"S-sure dude. Where are you this late anyway?" I sigh.

"I'm in jail," I strain, closing my eyes at his gasp. "With Craig and Butters." There is a crash at the other end of the line, creating another eruption of screams.

"D-did you say _Butters_? A-and why are you in jail?" Kyle demands, the babies cries echoing in the receiver. "Oh god, I can't take this baby, how much is bail?" I sg at his words, and turn to the officer to my left.

"Bail?" I question. He holds up a five, and makes a 'K' with his fingers. I smack my forehead. "Five grand." I say flatly. The phone once again drops, this time caught mid-air. I look back at the man who mouths the word 'each'. "Each." I add, hearing a moan.

"T-That's fifteen fucking grand Kenny! I'm nod made of goddamn money!" Kyle screeches, bringing the phone back to his ear. I don't say anything else, and just pray. His voice is absent for at least thirty seconds, before he talks. "Don't think I'll be bailing you out each time you get screwed over, though. You better not get busted for shit again Kenny."

"Fuck, I won't again, I swear." I respond, throwing my fist in the air.

"I'm just..._done_ with babies. I can't take it _anymore_!" He wails, stomping on the ground. Something in the background shatters on the ground, which he takes notice to. I stare at the phone, his words painfully sinking in. I would tell him, even if she killed me for doing so. "Kenny?"

"Uh yeah I'm here." He sighs, and presses the phone closer to his lips.

"_I'll bail you out."_ Kyle mumbles. I shout, dancing around the phone line.

"Thank god! I love you man, you're the best, I swear I won't get busted again-"

"_Okay. _I get it." He says, yawning. "I'll tell him to come get you guys, since I'm stuck with the _baby_. He'll be there in like...an hour."

"Wait Kyle who's 'he'?" But before he answers, the line goes dead.

"I take it he's bailing you out?" The officer asks. I can't help but let a sigh of relief escape my lips.

Butters was still out cold on the stone floor, with Craig sleeping peacefully on his bare stomach. I'm led into the same cell as before, the door locked behind me. I lay on the crappy bench, turning towards the wall. Using my shirt as a pillow, I close my eyes and listen to the ticks of the clock.

Bebe had said he wouldn't _want _a baby, but there's no way he could actually _hate _the idea of having kids, right? I mean, sure babies are little pricks who's only interests include sucking on tits and shitting in a diaper, but that's the part that you're _supposed _to hate. It's not _supposed _to be fun, it's supposed to be the reality of having kids. And the reality is, that it's gonna suck. Kyle would be a great dad, though. I mean, you're _supposed_ to have a great job, nice house, and beautiful wife, all of which he could have. I on the other hand, am not _supposed_ to have a kid, kiss my best friend's fiancée, or be in jail. It wasn't supposed to happen, but when it did, everything sorta worked themselves out. Sorta.

Voices mumbled in the distance, but I kept my lids down. I was too tired to see, let alone think. The sounds got closer, and started to get louder. The noises turned into voices, which were low and quick.

"I'll go wake those two up, if you could get him?'' One of the voices asked, unlocking the cell door. I stayed still, as the heavy footsteps neared where I lay. I held my breath when the noise went dead, exempt for the groans of a pissed off Craig being woken up. My eyes traveled up a crack it the wall, and stopped when they met chocolaty brown eyes staring down.

"Knew you weren't sleeping." He said, pulling away from my sight. I didn't roll over. "Get your poor ass up, I'm not paying fifteen grand for you to sleep in a goddamn jail." I heard him chuckle. "Or for you to leave Kyle at home babysitting your _daughter._" I spun around, and couldn't help but smile. "I didn't think you had it in you, to actually _make _something that didn't involve pop-tarts and toaster pizzas." I laughed.

"And I didn't think you had it in you to get your fat ass outta South Park." I retort, standing up ad stretching. He simply smiles.

"I am clearly not fat, as you can see. But you are poor, so there," He smirks. "Poor-boy." Craig appears at the door to my holding cell, mouth open.

"Holy fucking shit." Craig gaps at the figure standing in front of me, eyes searching his body.

"Nice to see you too, _Craig._" He rolls his eyes, and pushes past him. "Now get all of your jail-broke asses outside, so I can _kick _all of your jail-broke asses for making me wake up just to come bail you out!" Craig's mouth is still open, as I grab his arm and pull him over to Butters, helping the others lift his body from the ground. I can't help myself from keeping a grin plastered on my face as we load everybody in the car, and watch as the police disappear into the building. "Get in the car dammit!" He shouts, as we swing the doors open and plop down in the back. "You assholes made Kyle wake me up to come get you, so you're paying for Burger King." Craig, still in shock, pulls a bill from his back pocket and places it in his outstretched palm. He smirks, and buries the money in his own pocket. The car roars to life, and we pull every so slowly away from the jail. I lean back into the seat, and close my eyes, the smile still dangling on my lips.

"It's good to see you, Cartman."


	9. Chapter 9

A/N~** *sighs* I'm trying to not make these not super long anymore, because they are REALLY annoying. I'm now just realizing it. Hah. Ok, so BASICALLY I also realized the fate of Bebe's unborn child...IF she still HAS the baby. 'Cause I'm so epic like that, keeping you guessing. Lol. You shall find out...in this chapter. Yay! Again, there will be an epic contest to give the **** a ****** **** next next chapter. Hehe, thats not dirty, by the way. And I have no idea why this starts off at Burger King...**

**Read and Review, Luvies! Hugs and Kisses ~M**

* * *

_"Hello, welcome to Burger King. May I take your order?" _The robotic voice questioned through the speaker.

"Damn straight you can take my order, that's your job, right?" Cartman snaps at the woman on the other end, earning him a punch in the arm from Craig.

"_Uh, well yes it is. What would you like tonight, sir?" _She asks nervously. Cartman pokes his head out the window, and squints at the electric signs. He brought a finger up to his chin, tapping at the unshaven surface.

"I want two double whoppers, a large coke- not diet, sheesh. And a chocolate milkshake." He says, mechanical beeps following his order.

"_Will that be all for you tonight?" _Just as he was about to answer, I clamped a hand over his mouth, and climbed onto his lap. _"Hello-"_

"Uh yeah hi, can you make that three double whoppers, two chocolate milkshakes, another vanilla and-" Cartman bit down harshly on my fingers, drawing the slightest bit of blood. "Ow! Fuck you!"

_"E-excuse me?" _I turn back to the microphone, slapping my forehead.

"Damn it, sorry that wasn't...for you," I say slowly, glaring holes in Cartman, who's hungrily licking his lips. "Just...all of that and-"

"Two chicken sandwiches, hold the mayo." I hear Craig say, glancing up at me. "And a root beer."

"Didja get that?" I ask the woman, leaning further out of the car.

"_Yes. Will that be all?" _At once, we all turn to look at Butters, still unconscious in the backseat.

"Chicken nuggets, too. With ranch." The order folds on the screen, static beeps filling the cold night.

"You forgot Kyle," I look at Cartman, who's squinting at me. When I give him a questioning look, he groans. "Since he'll end up paying for the shit anyway, you might as well get him something." He says, pushing me onto Craigs lap. "Yeah hey and add a double stack with onion rings, will 'ya?" Cartman instructs the woman taking our order, tapping on the sign. "Got it?"

_"Three double whoppers, two chicken sandwiches hold the mayo, one double stack with onion rings, a chicken nugget meal with ranch, and three milkshakes. Will that be everything sir?" _Cartman bit his lip, but Craig spoke up.

"That _is_ everything, thanks." Before she could tell us to pull forward, Cartman had already rammed the gas, passing the window. "God dammit Cartman," Craig huffed, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Hey, when you're in _my _car-"

"You mean _Kyle's _car?" I ask sarcastically. He starts to argue, but Craig holds up a mini skirt, and reaches down to pull up a pair of black stilettos.

"No, he means Bebe's car." Cartman sticks out his tongue, and reverses the car, pulling to the window. The window is barely cracked, and the young girl inside looks completely terrified. Irritated, Cartman taps on the window, causing the girl to step back. She twirls her blonde hair between her fingers, standing at least five feet away from the car. Craig clears his throat. "You scared her, now she won't even give us our damn food, fatass."

"Ay! I didn't scare her, I just forcefully asked for food in a manner that could..._frighten _some." Cartman retorts, reaching onto his pocket to grab a bill. "And by the way, you should work on other nicknames, R-tard, 'cause clearly, I'm far from fat." Once more, he reached out to tap the window, and when the girl stepped back, he showed her the money with a raised brow. Hesitantly, she shuffles forward, until her nose pokes out the window.

"T-that'll be $37.89, s-sir." She stutters, reaching a dainty hand towards his outstretched palm. Taking the money with a whimper, she brings it inside the restaraunt. "U-uh sir, this is only a t-ten. You're..." The girl stops when Cartman gives her a warning look. "You're...uh...short by $27.89, s-sir-"

"Damn it Craig, who the hell only carries ten bucks in their pocket when their going to a fucking strip club?!" Cartman shouts, spinning to see Craig, nose still tightly pinched between his fingers.

"How the hell did you know we went to a strip club, fatass?" Craig gawks, rubbing his eyes.

"They told me _everything _when I came to bail you fucktards out, duh." He answers, patting Craig on the shoulder. "_Everything." _Craig groans, moving from Cartman's touch. "So, anyone got any money?" He looks at us with a hopeful look, and we shake our heads. "Fucking weak..." He turns back to the girl inside, sighing. "Well, _sorry._ We don't have it." She squeaks at his response, not wanting to further upset him.

"No, no wait dude." I grab the heels from Craig, and switch to Cartman's lap. He grunts in annoyance, but allows in. I pop open a secret compartment under the heel of the shoe, and pull out a joint. Craig gasps, reaching for the stick, so I throw it in the backseat, landing on Butters stomach. "We are _not _going back to jail, got it?" I say sternly, pointing a finger at his face. Cartman chuckles. "What?"

"You sound like a fucking old person, dude," He bursts out in laughter, grabbing at his gut. "Or maybe it's just your daddy instincts kicking in!" I glare, and twist my fingers around his neck.

"Yeah, they are. And they're telling me _not _to fucking kill you right now, because I _can't _go back to jail." I sneer, letting go. He makes a face, and huffs. I slide my pointer finger deeper into the compartment, and wiggle it around until it hooks a rubber band. I tug it out, and hold it out for Cartman to see. "My daddy instincts also knew that Bebe would shove a bunch of cash up her shoe, so don't doubt my awesomeness." He rips the wad from my hand, and carefully removes a fifty from the roll.

"It's not instinct to know that they have money shoved in every fucking crack of every fucking thing they own, it's a fact." Cartman hands the money to the girl, sweating profusely. He wrinkles his nose as she reaches down to take it. "God, buy some fucking deodorant, fucking sicko." She frowns, and hands him the change.

"I have deodorant, thank you." She says politely, dropping three quarters in his palm.

"Well maybe you could work somewhere more decent so you can afford _better_ deodorant." Cartman rolls, smirking. The lady inhales deeply, and takes the four bags from the cook. I move closer to the window, blocking Cartman's way, and take the bags.

"Thanks," I say apologetically, handing the bags over to Craig. Cartman moans, rolling up the window.

"And sir-?" The window continues to slide up, so I slam my fist on Cartman's hand, making it stop. "I'm only working here so I can pay for my son's kindergarten, just until I can get a real job. No place else will except me, so I came here. I'm grateful I have a job, though, so I don't want to go find another, thank you." She says darkly, slamming the window shut. We sit in silence, until Cartman smirks.

"Poor hoe probably got knocked up-"

"Cartman, shut the serious fuck up!" Craig roars, slamming him against the door.

"Jesus Christ Craig-"

"No, I won't! You just made a complete fool out of that woman-"

"I only made it apparent that she had major BO-"

"Yeah, now apologize to her before I smash your fucking head in!" Craig hisses, jabbing his thumb against Cartman's shoulder. "Do it, fatass." Craig flips him off, and Cartman does the same. I lean forward and tap on the window, catching the girls attention. Craig jabs him again, until he sighs.

"I'm sorry." He mumbles, teeth clenched. The girl smiles slightly, and leans closer. Cartman looks up, and wrinkles his nose. "I'm sorry for making fun of your job, and saying you smell like shit." The woman nods politely, and returns to her station. "Damn bitch didn't even care-"

"She did, Cartman." I mutter, louder than I meant to. He shakes his head, and points to the bags.

"Give me my burgers, poor boy."

* * *

Craig shoves the fast food bags into my arms, as he and Cartman retreat from the car. I follow, sipping on my vanilla milkshake. They pull Butter's still limp body from the car, and Cartman slumps the petite frame over his shoulder. He smirks at Craig, who's mouth is hanging open. I walk past them, hoisting the bags higher against my chest. Taking another sip, I turn the handle to the front door, but end up dropping two of the bags. I hear Cartman chuckle, pushing the bags aside with his boot and reaching into his pocket, pulling out a silver key. Craig comes to my side, and watches contently as the door opens with ease. Without question, we walk inside, and are met by the sound of hysterical screams. I follow the sound, Craig slugging inches behind. When we get to the living room, I smile when I see Kyle sitting on the carpet with many assorted baby toys spread across the rug, Emma in his lap. He holds up a binkey to her open mouth, which is quickly rejected, and tossed hopelessly to the floor. The door slams shut, and Kyle spins around with a tired grin, quickly getting to his feet. "Thank god you're here, you need to make your kid shut up. I've tried everything dude, but she keeps crying! I fed her, and changed her, and-"

"Hey Kyle," Cartman interupts, walking into the room. He drops Butters on the couch, and makes his way back down the hall. "'M'going to bed, these assholes tire me out."

"'Kay Eric," Kyle shouts down the hall, turning back to me. I notice how tired he actually is, dark bags hanging under his eyes, and his bouncy curls frizzed. "Hey, could you-"

"Dude." I whisper, eyes wide.

"W-what? Did I do something?" Kyle's eyes dart around confused, swaying sleepily.

"No, but...did you just call Cartman _Eric?_" I ask, handing him a bag. He reaches in, pulling out a wrapped patty.

"Uh, y-yeah. That's his name, dude." He replies, biting into the bun. "Hey thanks for the food, by the way."

"Yeah well, you kinda bought it. Or...Bebe bought it, anyway." I rub the back of my neck, hoping he won't care.

"You found a secret stash of her money, right?" He asks through a mouthful of burger. "Was it in her shoe?"

"Dude, you _know _she keeps shit in her shoes?!" Craig pipes in, walking towards Kyle. He instantly stops chewing when his eyes meet the raven's. "And this doesn't bother you?"

"Oh, _you're _here." Craig smiles.

"Yep, thanks for the invitation, by the way. I didn't expect you to request my presence," Craig puffs, dropping his weight on Butters.

"I _didn't _actually _say _you could _stay_, did I?" Kyle barks. "And what the hell happened to him?" He points at Craig, but I know he means Butters.

"They sedated him because he thought the cops who arrested him were out to rape him," Craig says dully, taking out a cigarette. "But of course, maybe he was just crazy-''

"Craig, you're such a retard." I point out, picking up Emma. She instantly stops crying when her small fingers trace the familiar face, and a smile breaks across her lips, as she snuggles against my parka. Kyle stares at me, amazed.

"Dude, h-how did you do that?" He pleads, weaving fingers through his curls. "She just...stopped."

"I think she likes my smell," I guess, taking a whiff of my shirt. Pulling back with a disgusted smile, I cough and shake my head. "Or maybe it's because she knows I'm her daddy." Suddenly Kyle breaks into happy laughter, grabbing at my free hand. "Dude, what?" He pulls me into the kitchen, and presses me against a cupboard while he fiddles with buttons on the phone.

"Just listen," He instructs, jabbing his thumb to the play button on the answering machine. A male voice cracks on the machine, clearing his throat.

_"This is a message for Kenneth McCormick regarding the results of the DNA test you took two weeks prior, and it appears that the child you brought in claiming was your daughter is, in fact, your daughter. The hospital would like to discuss further actions, and are willing to provide links to financial support and help for the custody, although that doesn't seem to be a problem. If you have any concerns or questions, please call our offices anytime at-"_ Kyle pushes stop, and turns to me with a huge grin.

"She's really yours, dude." He exclaims happily. "We should make it official or something, like a party! Let's have like...a late baby shower-"

"Kyle, I need to talk to you. Like, seriously." I say, patting Emma on the back.

"Yeah, sure dude. What is it?" I wrinkle my brow, and look at the tile floor.

"A baby shower." I state.

"Oh, we don't have to, I was just thinking it would be fun-"

"There's no need to give me one when I already _have _a baby," I mumble, hoping he catches on. "You'll have your own soon enough-"

"Wh...what do you mean-"

"Kenny?" I look over the countertop, and see Bebe wearing a pink nightdress, her eyes red and puffy. In her hands, she holds two small boxes."What are you..." She takes one look at Kyles horrified face, and leaps towards me. "You fucking ass! How could you tell him?!" She yells, shoving me off balance.

"Dude, what's going on?" Kyle asks harshly, pulling Bebe off me and against own chest. "Wha...what did you mean, dude?" He eyes me for an answer, but Bebe just shakes her head.

"He didn't mean anything, hun-"

"No, _why _did he say we were having a baby shower?" Kyle hisses, hugging her tighter. "What did-"

"I didn't _say _you were, dude. I just...I meant-"

"Kenny," Bebe wails into Kyles shirt, tears streaking the fabric. "Why would you _tell _him." I look for words, but can't seem to find any.

"Babe, what's wrong?" Kyle whispers, planting a kiss on top of her head. "You can tell me anything, I won't be mad." He assures, rocking her small body. As his hands stroke her arms, he comes across what she has gripped tightly in her palm. "What is-" She bites her lip, and tugs from his grasp. Bebe looks back at him, trying to come up with an explanation, and when nothing comes, she turns to me.

"Kenny, come with me." It's not a question, it's an order. I nod, as she takes my free arm and leads me upstairs. Emma starts to toss in my grasp, and I soon realize she's shaking. I eye Bebe, who's walking me silently up the stairs.

"Can I have a blanket, Emma's cold." She doesn't reply, and pulls me along to a room. When we enter, I take a seat on a cushioned bench, and watch her close the door slowly. When it's shut, she walks quietly to a small tan couch and grabs a small blanket from the armrest.

"Why did you kiss me?" She asks dryly, not turning around. "Why did you _fucking _kiss me, Kenny?" Her grip on the fabric tightens, as her other hand forms a fist, crumbling the small cardboard boxes. "Don't...don't tell me." I look at her confused, although she can't see my face. "Please don't, just..." Bebe tilts her head the slightest towards me, but it falls, and she breaks into tears. I lay Emma against a lacy pillow, and get up, eagerly wrapping my arms around her waist, mimicking Kyle. She tenses in my grasp, but doesn't make a move to try and escape. "Just...here-" Her fingers trail up my chest, and push the cartons against my shirt. I take them from her, and nod. "Please..." I open the small flap without breaking our heated gaze, and pull out the pregnancy test I had bought her earlier. Bebe looks away, disgusted. Slowly, I look down at the white stick in my hands, and sigh. She holds up a finger and points to the other box, quiet sobs escaping her lips. I pull it out, and stare in disbelief. Both sticks in my hand are identical, bright red matching plus signs across the front. I bring my head up, and meet her eyes, filled with fear. "_I'm still pregnant." _She whispers through cries, her hands held out in front of her. I open my arms, and she falls into them wordlessly. Slowly, I sit down, keeping her encased in my warmth. We sit there for maybe ten minutes, before the creaking of the door forces us apart. A groan comes from the other end, as the annoyed brunette pops his head in the door, sleepily rubbing his eyes.

"Jesus Christ Kyle, try to be a little quieter in bed-" Cartman stops when he takes notice to the pregnancy tests in Bebe's trembling hands. I continue to stroke her hair through his glare, pulling her back to my arms. "No fucking way-"

"Cartman, get out." I command, clenching my fists. He stands in the doorway, mouth ajar, trying to analyze the situation.

"Y-you're...you can't be serious..." He slaps his forehead, and leans against the trim. "Really guys, and you havn't told Kyle? That's...that's sad-"

"I said _get out_ fatass-" Craig bumps into Cartman's shoulder, as he topples to the ground in front of us. "Craig?" He looks up from the floor, obviously pissed off.

"Where the fuck did you two run off to? Do you know how _horrible _it is to be alone with that shithea-" He stopped himself when Kyle stormed in after him, also bumping into Cartman. He glares when he sees Bebe wrapped in my arms, sobbing against my chest.

"Alright, someone tell me what the _fuck _is going on here," Kyle shouts, looking at answers. "Why the fuck is Craig telling me that-"

"What the fuck did he say?" I interrupt, pinching the bridge of my nose. Kyle continues to glare.

"He said Bebe was..." He trails off, glancing down at Bebe's shaking hands. "...pregnant." Kyle finishes, kneeling down next to Bebe. I feel her fingers curl tighter into my shirt, as she hands Kyle the tests. He takes one look, and steals her from my arms into his own. She continues sobbing against his shoulder, as he falls to the floor with her, a frown plastered to his face. "Oh Bebe," Cartman yawns sarcastically, and waves.

"Screw this man, I'm going back to bed." He drawls, trudging back to his room. Kyle brings his attention back to Bebe, who's crying has only got worse.

"Sweetie," He soothes, pecking her temple. "Why didn't you tell me?" Bebe brings her head up just enough so she is still tucked away in Kyle's shadow, and lets another tear soak her sleeve.

"I-I didn't t-t-tell you because I knew you w-would h-hate me for it," She sniffs, rubbing her cheek on the soft fabric. "And I see h-how much you ha-hate Emma-"

"I don't hate you or Emma, love," He presses, smoothing her frizzy hair. "I'm just tired, that's all." With another sniff, she rips from his hold, and gets on her knees, so she's his height.

"I-I'm pregnant, Kyle." She says, as Kyle wipes away her tears.

"I know," He coos, smiling. "And I'm thrilled." Bebe lets out a choked laugh, as hints of a smile tug on her lips.

"R-really?" She asks, surprised.

"Of course, why wouldn't I be?" Bebe bites her lip.

"How far along are you?" Craig asks, sitting down with Emma in his lap. "Like...since you found out." She hesitates, before bringing a thoughtful finger to her chin.

"I'm...I'm already more than two months along." She replies sadly, covering her face once more. Kyle chuckles, and tears her hands away, weaving their fingers together.

"I'm taking you to the doctors tomorrow, okay?" He asks with a smile. Bebe nods, a small smile on her own face.

"I love you." She whispers, wrapping her arms around Kyle's neck. "And I love you too, baby." Bebe touches her stomach lightly, causing Kyle's grin to only double in size. When he looks like he'll explode with joy, Bebe giggles and presses their lips together.

"Get a room," Craig coughs, trying to ignore the affection and concentrate on the baby in his lap. Kyle laughs.

"Dude, you're in our room." He says, setting Bebe on his lap. Craig looks up, horrified.

"Oh god, I am. Sick." He hands me Emma, moving towards the door. "I'm gonna crash here, that cool?" Bebe shrugs, looking at Kyle, who's too busy kissing her neck to care.

"Downstairs, there's another guest bedroom." She says, pointing towards the door. Craig flashes a grin, and starts downstairs. "Hun?" It takes me a second to realize shes talking to me, and I quickly turn to her. "We're gonna go to bed I think," Bebe stifles a giggle as Kyle playfully nips at her ear, and continues pecking down her jawbone. "You're bedroom is downstairs, next to Craig's. Here, I ll bring you some blankets, sorry about that-" She starts to get off Kyle's lap, but is tugged back down.

"You're staying right here, he can get his own stuff-"

"Kyle-" He groans at her protest, and crawls across the white carpet to retrieve a pile of blankets. Tossing them to me, he puts Bebe on his lap and returns to kissing her. She smiles, and pecks him back. "G'night, Kenny." Bebe purrs, bringing her lips to Kyle's once more. I wince, and snuggle Emma in the bundle of cloth before exiting the room, the door slammed roughly behind me.

"Ay! Kyle I though I told you to keep it quiet in there, dammit!" I hear Cartman holler from down the darkened hallway. There are more giggles from behind the door, which are quickly replaces with moans. Shuddering, I walk down the stairs, and am greeted by a very confused Butters.

"K-Kenny? W-where am I? Oh Jesus..." He spots the sleeping baby in my arms, and his confusion is replaced with happiness. "O-Oh, is that your daughter, Kenny?" Butters pulls away a bright blue velvet blanket, fully revealing her tiny body. "Aw, she's so cute!" He shrieks, allowing one of his fingers to be played with. I smile, and wrap her back up, handing Butters a blanket.

"Your sleeping here, dude." I say flatly, leading him down the long hallway to my room. I peek into Craig's room, and see him curled in the middle of bundles of decorative pillows fast asleep. I begin to shut the door, but a hand catches it, fully opening it again. I look over at Butters, who is rubbing his neck.

"H-hey Kenny I think I'm gonna sleep with Craig, okay?" Butters asks nervously. I nod, and watch him wrap the blanket around his still bare shoulders, and carefully place himself on the mattress next to Craig. Craig moans, and wraps an arm around Butter's waist, pulling him against his also bare chest. I shut the door, and enter my own room, falling to the be with Emma held tightly in my arms.

**A/N~ Is Craig/Butters even a pairing?! Probably not...but yay! Bebe is still pregnant! Victory dance! ...Sorta. That interferes with my plans, you see, as this is now going to have to be longer. Oops, I TOTALLY didn't mean to do that. Hehe...reviews are loved greatly! I'll update tomorrow!**


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